Knowing these differences ahead of time can save you some pain
There have been entire books written on the differences between guys and girls. Books like "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." Doesn't it feel like guys are from a different planet sometimes?
I don't want to just stereotype guys and girls because not everyone falls into this exact category. But, this will give us a general idea of how guys and girls are different, especially as it relates to dating and relationships.
Guys are Visual
When I was in high school, I remember my dad taking me aside and telling me the differences between guys and girls. One of the things he told me was that guys are visual and attracted to what they see. He said that I could walk into a room with 10 layers of clothes on and a guy could still be turned on by what he sees. That's just the way guys work.
**Side Note** Read more about the struggle I had with compromising in my fashion choices on my teen fashion tips page. I'd highly recommend reading my story on fashion choices if you haven't already.
Anyway, back to guys. They are visual and attracted to what they see. How do we know this? Let's think about this for a moment....who tends to be more addicted to pornography? Guys or Girls? Guys, right? They just enjoy seeing a girl's body.
It's just the way God made them. "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27
God gave us sex to enjoy in a committed marriage for the purpose of having children and keeping the earth populated. "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth" God says in Genesis 1:28.
Did you catch that? God gave us sex to enjoy. That's right enjoy. But, we are to enjoy it within a committed relationship to one person. This is called marriage.
"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." Hebrews 13:4
In other words, we are to "keep our fire in the fireplace"! Our fire of sexual passion let loose outside the boundaries of a committed marriage is going to leave damage (broken hearts, depression, STD's, pregnancy, etc.)....just like the damage that would occur if you started a fire in the middle of your bedroom instead of in your fireplace at home.
"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer -- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love." Proverbs 5:18-19
Guys Want Sex....No Big Deal, Because I Do Too
You may think it's no big deal that guys are primarily visual and their main motive in relationships is for sex because you feel the same way. I will admit that there are some girls who want sex for sex and nothing else, but for the majority of us girls it goes much deeper.
See, for the most part, guys can have sex with you without getting so attached emotionally. They compartmentalize their lives like separate rooms in a house. So, it's a lot easier for them to move on to the next pretty girl that gets their attention.
However, girls are different. We tend to be primarily emotional and long to be deeply loved and accepted. We want the intimacy. That said, we give sex for love. In other words, we want the emotional bond that comes with sex, not just the physical act. And it does bond deeply! God created sex to bond us deeply with one man through marriage.
I like the following illustration for the bonding that happens through sex. Try this at home....take out some duct tape. Tape a 4-5 inch strip onto your arm (the side with hair). Make sure it is bonded good with your skin and then pull it off quickly. Ouch! It probably took some hair with it! Now do that a few more times. What happens? Generally the tape doesn't stick as well the more times you bond it to your skin and then pull it off.
Can you see where I'm going with this illustration? Sex bonds us the deepest the first time, therefore, the bond isn't as deep the more often we casually have sex with many partners. Some may think sex is just intercourse and that oral sex is okay. Check out what the true definition of sex is...you might be surprised to find that it includes oral sex.
So, the more times you casually have sex, the less the emotional bond will be and the less fulfilling it will be to you as a girl since the emotional bond is primarily what you long for.
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people...For this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person - such a man is an idolator - has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God." Ephesians 5:2-3,5
I think that verse is pretty self explanatory.
Secondly, because of the differences between guys and girls, girls who give sex for love are making a big mistake. We may think that because sex bonds us to that guy so deeply, he will also have that deep bond and want to stay with us. It's just not the same for the guy. Giving a guy sex is giving him what he wants....he wins.
What happens when you play a video game, or any game for that matter, and win all the levels and know all the secret codes? It gets boring, right? It's no longer as fun to play because it's no longer a challenge.
In a way, that's what happens when we give guys sex. He wins the challenge. The thrill of the chase is over and he may start to grow bored and look for another girl to "conquer." It sounds so shallow, but it's true. My dad used to say that girls who live with their boyfriends are making a mistake, especially if they want to get married. He said why should their boyfriend ever commit to marrying her if he already has what he wants...sex. He would use this illustration...why buy the cow if you can come and get the milk from it everyday for free? Now that you know some basic differences of guys and girls, you should be on your way to having healthy dating relationships.
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
Back to the duct tape illustration....which time do you think the tape hurt the worst? Taking it off the first, second or third time? You're right, the first. That's why breaking up with the first guy you've sexually bonded with can hurt so much. Not only that, but you've left part of yourself with him....just like the hair getting stuck to the duct tape. You can be forgiven for what you've done, but unfortunately you can never fully get back that part of yourself.
I John 1:9-10 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives."
If you want a new start, be encouraged that God can give you a fresh start! "The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work." I John 3:8b
If you've had a difficult break-up, share your story with us.
Wherever you are in the healing process, it's good to know you are not alone. This is a place to help and be helped. So, please give your advice and encouragement to those who share their stories here.
God is able to heal the brokenhearted and one way He does that is through supporting each other and praying for each other.
When I was in high school, I remember my dad taking me aside and telling me the differences between guys and girls. One of the things he told me was that guys are visual and attracted to what they see. He said that I could walk into a room with 10 layers of clothes on and a guy could still be turned on by what he sees. That's just the way guys work. 
In other words, we are to "
I like the following illustration for the bonding that happens through sex. Try this at home....take out some duct tape. Tape a 4-5 inch strip onto your arm (the side with hair). Make sure it is bonded good with your skin and then pull it off quickly. Ouch! It probably took some hair with it! Now do that a few more times. What happens? Generally the tape doesn't stick as well the more times you bond it to your skin and then pull it off. 
First of all, to answer this question, it's important to know 
Back to the duct tape illustration....which time do you think the tape hurt the worst? Taking it off the first, second or third time? You're right, the first. That's why breaking up with the first guy you've sexually bonded with can hurt so much. Not only that, but you've left part of yourself with him....just like the hair getting stuck to the duct tape. 
