When the blindfold comes off

i met this guy at work. he seemed very polite at first and sweet. And he's good looking. I thought it was okay to like him because the last guy i liked was ugly but i was looking to the goodness inside him. He ended up breaking my heart by turning out to be abusive. So i thought I was smart by liking someone I was physically attracted to first.

He called me a couple of times and we texted back and forth. i learned that when you talk to a guy everyday early in the relationship, it makes you develop feelings of love. But I've realized that he doesn't feel for me the way I was feeling for him. He didn't call me for 12 days. It was only when i messaged him that he wrote back. He has also ignored some of my messages where I have said something nice or responded to his last response. Rewatching the movie "He's just not that into you", I've confirmed my suspicion that he doesn't really care about me. And so I'm moving on.

I made a plan to refrain from texting him for 30 days and as it has been 20 days now without no contact from him, i plan to make it forever. I will only respond if he calls. I learned that texting is not appropriate for relationships that are just developing and it's bad for communication. There are many misunderstandings.

I know that my story is not completely over but I know that soon I will have learned a great deal and I will apply it to my next relationship. Like this article says, girls should not be physical with guys until they are in a committed relationship and sex should only follow marriage.

I pray for all of you and hope that you get what is best for you. Amen.

Comments for When the blindfold comes off

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How to choose the right guy
by: Sarah

Hi,

I would just like to share my opinions with you.

It doesn’t mean if you are physically attracted to someone, then you should consider him as your boyfriend. Physical attraction is very superficial. A real and strong relationship must be based on true love. Most importantly, it must be founded in the Word of God and both of you must believe in Jesus. When you are evaluating a boy as your boyfriend, first consider if he has the same beliefs as you. For a relationship to work and last, God must be the centre of the relationship, it must be a 3-party relationship, you, him and God. Both of you must love God more than you love each other, and the more you love God, the more you will love each other.

After this criteria has been met, then you can evaluate upon other criteria. Look at how he treats girls in general, whether he respects girls. You must also be careful because if the boy is chasing you, he will be especially nice to you. You must ask God for wisdom to see his real character. You must find a boy who will take care of you, who listens to your needs, and is genuinely concerned for you. He must respect your parents as well. See if you can find out how he is like when he is not around you, that way you may be able to discern his real behaviour.

Texting may or may not be appropriate, actually that is not the important point. You should remain friends with this boy even if you have decided that he is not suitable as a boyfriend.

The very important thing is that you must engage God in your life more, even in this process of evaluating which boy is right for you. Ask God each step of the way, which boy is suitable for you, ask Him to give you wisdom to choose the right man, ask Him not to bring temptations to you, ask Him to bring good and godly boys around you, and seek to please Him by submitting to His will.

This is an exciting journey you are upon. Give thanks for all that God has given you.

In Christ,
Sarah

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