The New Gift

Hope For Those With A Sexual Past

By Jessica L Wright

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The feeling of hopelessness began to  fill my heart; I had already “messed up.” So was there any hope for someone like me, who was no longer a virgin? These thoughts raced through my mind as I sat through my first abstinence rally.

I was 16 years old and had just become a Christian. My past had been riddled with sexual relationships that I believed I was forgiven of when I became a Christian. Although, that night at the abstinence rally I believed the lie that Jesus forgave me, but didn’t and couldn’t purify me.

The speaker used an illustration of a beautifully wrapped gift to represent virginity. The gift sat on the stage next to him. Near the end of the service he called a student up on stage and told her that she got to unwrap the gift. The student eagerly unwrapped the beautiful gift and then went back to her seat. Another student was then called on stage. The speaker tried to give the unwrapped gift to that student, but he didn’t want it. He asked the student why he didn’t want the gift. The student said, “Because the gift has already been unwrapped.” The speaker said, “That is what virginity is like. Once that gift of virginity has been unwrapped, nobody else wants it.” 

I felt heat and a stinging pain begin to crawl up into my throat and spread to my eyes. My heart began to race as I fought to hold back tears. Was this really how I would always be perceived, as an unwrapped gift that nobody wanted? I sank into a pit of shame, and it would take me 13 years to get out of it. During those 13 years I believed I was unworthy of any good thing from God. I believed I was second rate, disqualified, and hopeless compared to those who were virgins. The worst part was that I believed I deserved every one of those shameful feelings.

If your past is similar to mine, I want to save you from those shameful feelings and give you hope! Would you allow me to share five truths with you that God has taught me about His perspective of you and me?

  1. The day you received Christ as your savior was not only the day your sins were forgiven, but it was also the day you received freedom from those sins. No longer does your past have any authority over you. Satan will try to convince you that your past defines you, enslaving you to a lie. Galatians 5:1 speaks to this.

  2. Once you become a Christian, you become a new person. In 2 Corinthians 5:17-21, Paul says that in Christ we are new creations. The new he is speaking of actually means qualitatively new, as in never been touched new! First Corinthians 1:28 also says, “…God has chosen the things that are not, that He might nullify the things that are…” God nullifies, or marks out, the fact that we were not virgins and makes us virgins though Christ! 

  3. You have a new identity. Second Corinthians 5:21 says, “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." You take on the identity of Christ through His blood. You get Christ’s righteousness (Romans 3:21-28). His pure, spotless virginal identity becomes your new identity!

  4. God restores what the locusts have destroyed (Joel 2:25). God will restore the innocence and purity that sin ate away. I am evidence of this!

  5. You have to forgive yourself. Christ considered you worthy to receive forgiveness, so you have no right to hold unforgiveness towards yourself. I encourage you to do this exercise. Look at yourself in the mirror, and take your mind back to that girl who messed up. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the power to forgive her, then tell her you forgive her, and then you let her off the hook. This exercise helps to break the root of bitterness that you feel toward yourself because of your mistakes. 

As you read these truths, let them wash over you. Don’t rush through them. Go back and reread these scriptures, and let these truths sink in. 

Purity begins in the heart. Once you let God’s word fill your heart, your eyes will be opened to the truth of how God sees you. Christ restores the standard of virginity in our lives. Kris Vallotton says in his book, Moral Revolution“Failures we have repented of are no longer the standard that we must bow to.” No longer do you need to submit to Satan's labels of unworthy, flawed, or disqualified. That is his tactic to keep you in enslaved to your past. Don’t let Satan back you into a corner and tell you there is no hope.

Disqualified, unworthy, impure… That’s not your identity. You have been forgiven and made pure. You, my sister, are spotless with no flaw of sin. You are not an unwrapped gift, but a brand new gift!  



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About the Author

At one point in Jessica’s life she decided that being a nun would be better than facing any disappointment from a husband due to her sexual past. Her plans for the convent life were soon met with the truth of God’s restoring love.Through her story, Jessica seeks to offer hope through Restored Innocence, Freedom In Christ, and has a deep passion to see other ladies find their True Identity. You can find out more about Jessica by checking out her website www.Jessicalwright.com.  You can also follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, or You Tube.

Jessica’s upcoming book My Mess His Masterpiece: When God Restores Purity to the Impure, which is in the editing process at this point, will be a great resource to help in understanding how God can restore purity back to the impure. Sign up for Jessica’s newsletter to get updates on her book as well as weekly words of encouragement. 


There Is Hope

If you have gone too far, we want you to know that there is hope. If you have found this article helpful, I encourage you to share it online and with your friends. But I also wanted to let you know that I would love to pray with you. You can use the form below to submit your prayer requests, or even just questions or comments you have about purity, forgiveness, or faith. All submissions come directly to my inbox and will not be shared publicly. There is hope, and you are not alone.

~ Heather Hart, Director of FindYourTrueBeauty.com

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Recommended Reading

Moral Revolution by Kris Vallotton and Jason Vallotton 

Every Young Woman’s Battle by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn 

Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliott

Unashamed by Heather Davis Nelson  

What Are You Waiting For: The One Thing No One Ever Tells You About Sex by Dannah Gresh

21 Myths (even good) Girls Believe About Sex by Jennifer Strickland

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