Girls, are you looking for some teen flirting tips? Check out these tips and let us know what you think.
Most girls tend to be romantics. We love when a guy goes out of his way to set up the perfect date. The flowers. The candlelight. Enjoying the quality time together. His voice telling us how beautiful we look. The music.
I remember one particular date my husband set up for me for Valentine's Day. He had a trail of paper hearts leading to the basement where he had a table set up for a candlelight dinner. He doesn't cook, so it meant a lot to me that he cooked the entire meal himself! Plus, he made my favorite dessert - cheesecake!
I think I fell a little harder for him that night because I knew he cared enough to put the time into planning our time together.
Flirting goes hand in hand with romance and is what we'll be talking about here.
If you've read about the differences between guys and girls and the definition of sex, then you already know what God's standards are on sex.
But what about flirting?
I looked up in my concordance in my bible and found "flirting" once. In Isaiah 3:16 it talks about women "flirting with their eyes."
However, in Song of Songs, we read an important principle we can apply to flirting and dating. This principle is repeated three times in Song of Songs. It's found in Song of Songs 2:7, 3:5 and 8:4.
In the bible, anytime something is repeated, it usually means we should pay attention because it is something pretty important.
Let's take a look at what it says....
"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field; Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."
Song of Songs is a love story. If you didn't realize romance was in the bible, it is!
We are given some good advice...."Do not awaken or arouse love until it so desires."
Think of it this way. Your sexuality is a gift to be enjoyed with one person in a committed relationship called marriage. Until that time, your sexuality is "asleep".
However, it is possible to "arouse" your sexuality earlier than marriage. And once it's "aroused" or "awakened" - know this - it's really hard to convince your sexuality to go back to "sleep". Some of us know this from personal experience.
Once your sexuality is wide awake, it's hard to turn it off. It's like the proverbial slippery slope where one thing leads to another.
James 1:13-15 says, "When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."
Did you see that it all started with the temptation that then led to desire then to sin and finally to death? When we give in to sexual immorality it will eventually lead to spiritual death.
Another way to think about it is, once you get the engine running, it's hard to get the car parked again.
Some of us do it as we are innocently flirting and having fun. We think it's really no big deal. But, one thing does lead to another, the hormones increase and before we know it, we've done something we regret.
It's like the frog in the pot of water. If the water was boiling, the frog will immediately jump right back out and avoid its death. However, if you start with cold water and then gradually heat it up, the frog won't realize what's happening and die a slow death.
The same thing can happen to us with sexual temptation.
Hayley DiMarco talks about this in her book, "Technical Virgin, How far is too far."
She talks about back rubs and tickle fights as innocent flirting that can very easily "arouse or awaken" the sexual desires within us that lead us to compromising sexually.
I think she has a good point. If you don't think back rubs and tickle fights are sexual ask you boyfriend these questions.
Does he give his 82 year old grandma back rubs?
Does he have tickle fights with his buddies?
Most likely his answer will be "no" because they are both sexual in nature.
Other things Hayley warns us to avoid are napping together and skin on skin.
All of these things put us in positions to start thinking about sex. Jesus said it wasn't just our actions on sin that counted, but also our thoughts. He's very clear about this. In Matthew 5:27-28 he says, ""You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Something that is leading you down a sexual path you never intended to go?
It's never too late to put your sexuality back to "sleep" until God brings that one person into your life for marriage. It may be difficult, but God has the power to overcome any stronghold in our lives.
"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:3-5
Have you already compromised sexually? There is forgiveness for you in God if you'll take it.
Write me and let me know how you're doing. Or send us a prayer request. I truly do care for each of you and am praying for you!
Shelley has a heart for teen girls that began from her own journey of finding her true beauty in Christ. She is currently serving God by helping other Christians learn to let their light shine.
Connect with Shelley online:
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How Far is Too Far? Technical Virginity and the Definition of Sex - When you make a commitment to abstinence what does it really mean?
Top Dating Tips - To date or not to date? Read this article and then decide!
Masturbation for women and teen girls - It's not just a guy problem. If you are struggling with this issue, read this article and S'ambrosia's story of finding freedom.
Sex and Depression - Is there a link? If you're feeling depressed, it could be coming from something deeper than you think. Find out more here.
Porn...A Growing Problem Even Among Teens - Porn is something that many people are getting addicted to but aren't talking about. It is impacting families, marriages and controlling many people's lives. All they can think about is the next time they will be able to access their computer or the next thrill they will get. Although boys are the ones typically drawn to porn due their visual nature, girls are also getting hooked. Even girls in good homes that are raised in the church.
Overcoming Sexual Abuse - Find Healing and Hope After You've Been Deeply Hurt
Views on Homosexuality - Is it Right or Wrong? Learn more about this controversial topic and discuss it with others.
Teenage Abortion - You or a Friend Considering Teenage Abortion? Choose Life! Read this article containing facts about abortion you should know before making a decision.
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