Dealing with Gossip
(Part 2)

Are You a Gossip Girl?

gossip girl image

In part one of this article, I walked you through how I found out I was a gossip girl, and what God's Word says about gossip. You can read that here. In this post, I want to share how the Bible says we should deal with gossip.

Ephesians 4:29 Tells Us How We Should Be Dealing with Gossip.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

Pretty self explanatory, right?

  • Only what is helpful for building others up
  • To benefit those who listen

We need to ask ourselves, does this piece of information help build someone up? Or does it tear them down? Am I saying it to make myself look better than the other person or because I want to encourage them? Is it really beneficial to the other person or does it pull them into the drama, the negativity and being critical?

But, How Do We Follow the Wisdom Given to Us in Ephesians 4:29?

In order to answer that question, let's look at the verse in context of what it was written...starting with a few verses earlier, verses 22-24.

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."

The Good News is We Don't Have to Do it in Our Own Strength!

God will empower us by giving us a new nature, his Spirit, Christ living in us to be different and do differently than those around us.

The New Living Translation says, "Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy."

The Amplified version says, "Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life...And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude]. And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God's image [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness."

What are we to do with our old nature, our gossip girl?

  • Put off
  • Throw off
  • Discard
  • Strip ourselves of

What are we to do instead of giving in to our gossip girl?

  • Let the Spirit renew our thoughts and attitudes
  • Be constantly renewed in our minds
  • Have a fresh mental and spiritual attitude
  • Put on our new nature

It's not about a self-improvement program, where I try to make myself better by not gossiping.

But, instead, it's about a self-replacement program, where I get rid of my old nature (sin nature) and replace it with my new nature (Jesus living in me, empowered by the Holy Spirit).

Where Do My Words and the Gossip I Tend to Fall into Originate?

dealing with gossip graphic

I believe it all starts with the things I think about and meditate on.

Instead of thinking constantly about the negative in every situation and being critical of the people around me, what should I do?

Philippians 4:8 gives us some ideas...

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

What Should We Do When We're Frustrated with Someone and Need to Talk it Out?

I don't know about you, but I'm a verbal processor. Sometimes I just need to "talk it out."

I heard Beth Moore say one time that the best thing to do when we are angry or frustrated with someone is to go "tattle tale to Jesus." Tell him all about it. Pour out your heart to Him.

"Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:8

Start a journal and pour out your heart to God that way. Or pray out loud....go somewhere that no one else can hear you.

And when with others, we should be quick to listen and slow to speak. When we do speak, let's say things that build others up and will benefit those who listen. May our words nourish many! (Proverbs 10:19,21)

The Bottom Line?

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight O Lord my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14

Don't forget to take our gossip quiz!

About the Author

Shelley has a heart for teen girls that began from her own journey of finding her true beauty in Christ. She is currently serving God by helping other Christians learn to let their light shine. 

Connect with Shelley online:

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What Do You Think About Gossip?

What do you think? Do you tend to cross the line between sharing information and gossiping? What are some ways you think we can address this issue?

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What Others Have Said About Dealing with Gossip

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page about gossip...

Keep your comments to yourself if you know it will hurt someone 
Like the old saying if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. I can remember when my friend told me something another person …

I think this is a very interesting article. I know that being my age, middle school, many kids are made for gossip. This results in making it hard for …

I Dont Want To Be A Judge Anymore 
HI! I am a teenage girl who is 17, and this study on gossiping could'nt have cleared the smoke any better!I praise the Lord because he has chiseled my …

I just wanna say thank you, Shelly, for writing the part about "letting it out". I always need to "vent" to someone when I get angry. If I don't, I go …

Gossip Gal 
As I grew up I went to a wonderful church and had an amazing friend named Nikki...we are still BFF. We talk everyday for about an hour. Then my dad became …

Why Do I Do This? 
Sometimes I realise I've been gossiping and I'm like .. WHY am I doing this, and then I stop for a few days, but a few days later I'm back to where I was. …

Popular does not mean you have to gossip 
I found myself in a very bad position. Two of my friends were not speaking so I was stuck in the middle. I found myself "venting" to each friend about …

Eye Opener 
Wow some of the questions I had to ask myself through out this section really made me think about my life and what comes out of my mouth. I know it's wrong, …

Overcoming Gossip  
I don't gossip because I have been on the recieving end of it , and it doesn't feel good . Also I try to do do unto others as I would like to have done …

Thoughts on Gossip 
I felt like telling you guys this, when you read it, it may seem funny, but if you think about it, it is true! Gossip is something you say behind …

Sealed Lips. 
As I have grown up, I have slowly began to realize the pain that comes with gossip on both ends of the spectrum. Gossip hurts and the only one true way …

standing up for God.. 
I recently caught myself gossiping about my other friends...those that I knew would never talk about me behind my back. I knew that it was wrong, but I …

The Gossip Girl in me 
I think this article is very true. And it is really hard to not gossip, especially when I'm with my friends. They all tend to gossip, and sometimes I want …

Gossip? I dont think so.....  
gossip is obnoxious....and unecessary.... but many of us gossip. including me. before you gossip, just ask god to help you hold your thoughts in and refrain …

Coming over with scripture 
I come over, and tell kids gossiping to stop. When I do, they start bully me! So what do I do? I start to recite Psalm 23, The LORD is my shepherd, I shall …

Thank you Shelly! The information on this website is very helpful. I am a teen girl and I am trying to do better and grow stronger through my Lord and …

It's Not Worth It 
Gossiping can lead to major downfalls in the life of a teenager, especially a teenage girl. It seems to be that girls (keep in mind that I am one, myself) …

Me too. 
This message really touched my heart. Often you talk about others just because you don't know what you should talk at all or maybe you're even mad at this …

there is this girl in my high school she went to my primary school she kinda bullies me as in call me names and shouts at me. it's not just her she …

Gossip Hurts True or Not! 
Someone who is a victim of gossip or ever has been might pretend that they don't care. I have and the truth is it hurts! If someone spreads a rumor don't …

I'm a Gossip GIrl 
Yess... I am a gossip girl.. sometimes i catch myself halfway through my gossip and i'm like.. WHAT AM I DOING??? Especially at work.. there is way too …

I think gossiping in this time and era is very natural, people are making it apart of their lives. I know that there not a day thats gone by that I haven't …

Gossips at work 
Well, I work for this trucking company and I work with a lot of women. And each and one of them gossips about one another and I feel like I'm stuck in …

how i overcame gossip 
my mom has told me since i was very young that if my friends & i talk about people behind their back, then how do i know that they dont talk about me behind …

Click here to write your own.

The ring of gossip 
Gossip is a mean and horrible thing it can hurt other people and us. gossip is a thing that pretty much all girls get into we cant help it !! As soon as …

My thoughts on gossip 

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