Why must I change?

by Megan
(Louisiana)

When you pass me in the halls.When you see me at the mall.Do i seem happy? yes.a simple answer.its whats on the outside that counts.its whats been drilled into me ever since i was little.parents, mainly mom, telling me i should do this and that.why cant you be more like her.ugh! ur acting like him/her.every word kills me.u may not realize it,but it does.i hate not being able to do what i want or dress like i want.im the type of girl that everyone sees as the popular teachers kid thats got it all.but reall im just some cuttin,depression,loves black and likes weird things type of girl that want to get out of this small town.im the type of girl thats in love with her best friend but knows she cant have him.im the type of girl who falls for the outcast of the class and if you even think about dating him u get criticized..well the summer before i turned 13 is when thing really started gettin bad between my mom and i.i came to absolutely hate her and i still do.she wants me to be perfect in every way because she says i have the potential....thats when i started to cut.it made me feel happy when i was sad.it let me be able to express my anger.i quickly became addicted.last year my 7th grade year it started getting better.i was happier that is until something bad happened at school that sent me into a relapse.now even today i sit in my room and soak in my depression.im like a hermit.i dont like people.ok i might like some but thats not thw point..the point is ive turned myself into a outcast.And i like it.and im proud.now if only i had the guts to tell a certain someone how i feel... :(

Have you ever heard the song by pink f'n perfect??or seen the video??well it really speaks to my heart i went through pretty much the same as the girl in the video.actually it is what i went through mainly.except for the anorexia bit..but it pretty much sums up "Why should i be Perfect?because you want me to??"



P.s. i really appreciate you taking the time to read this.ive learned when i write it helps me through.

Comments for Why must I change?

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God's plan
by: Anonymous

I love pink, she has an awesome voice. I do wish that she could do what she does without the swearing. The song could have just been perfect. I watched the video and it brought tears to my eyes. If I were you, I would let your mom read your posting, ask her to watch the video, and ask her to read my response. I am a mom of a 13 year old girl as well and she is unique in her own way. I found myself like your mom wanting to squeeze her into being like everyone else. One day God revealed something to me. He said shame on me. He created her to be unique and gave her the qualities that he gave her for his purpose and his plan and shame on me for thinking that my plan for her was more important. Don't get me wrong, I think you can be "yourself" with boundaries. You said something about black and I am not a fan of wearing all black all of the time. To me that says that I am dark and as children of God we are light. God has revealed to me that if I am telling my kids all of the time what they should and should not do then how will they ever hear the voice of God and how will they ever know if they are following God's plan. I think you should be straight up with your mom and then ask her to pray with you for God to reveal his plan for your life. It would be hard for a mom to deny that request but then you and her both need to be praying with an open heart and willing to follow his plan whatever that may be.
love
by: Anonymous

Lovely, that is the word that came to mind when I read baout you. You are unique and seem to be like me.
I watched the video, I almost cried, not just because you feel like this, but because I was there as well. I never wanted to change, didn't think I had to.
However, I did have to, but by no means did I have to change to the ways of man, I had to change to the ways of God. I had to learn that He wantedto help me, He wanted to become all that He created me to be. I had to open up and let Him lead. I had to be, let me put it, less stubborn.
I want to encourage you to talk to your mother, ask to comprimise with her about certain things. Ask her specifics about what she wont allow. You may not aggree with everything she says or thinks, but God says to "Honor thy Father and Mother..." Also, as for hiding and making yourself into what other people think you should be, I say be yourself. No one wants to be a clone. Find a style that makes you happy and, with your mothers input, work it!
I love you dearly

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