To break up or not to break up...?

by Denise
(Nairobi, Kenya)


my name is Denise. I'm 17 years old, almost 18. I just really need someone to talk to and give me advice, because I've never gone through this before, and there is no one else I can turn to. Mine isn't really a break up story...well, not yet anyway. I recently got into a relationship with a boy at school. I don't normally get into relationships..actually I can safely say that this is my first real relationship with a boy.

After reading the "Mirror Mirror" book, and also getting information from other sources, I'm starting to feel like getting into this was a serious mistake. There are many reasons why I feel this way but I'd say that the first is that it's really mixed up my relationship with God. I mean, before, I'd wake up and the first thing I'd think about would be reading my Bible or talking to God. But ever since things started getting serious between this guy and myself, things have changed. I think I've compromised on a lot of things...

I already really care about this guy, I really really do...but what's the point in giving our hearts to each other? We've talked about it once before, and we both know that our relationship is getting serious. We're also both really scared of the heart break that we will go through IF we break up. The closer we get, the harder it will be if we break up right?

It's just so unbelievably hard...I really have no idea what to do...this whole business really frightens me, but at the same time, I've never experienced all these wonderful "mushy gushy" feelings before so it's kind of exciting. I don't know if I should end it...and if so...HOW?? I really don't want to be the one to hurt him. In fact, I'd rather he breaks up with me than I break up with him.

Please help me...?

Comments for To break up or not to break up...?

Click here to add your own comments

Equally yoked
by: Pammy

Hey! my name is Pammy!! I totally understand what you are goin through!! I have had only 2 serious relationships. My current boyfriend lives in California and I live in PA. my first question that I want you to think about is.. Is this man that you have feelings for a man of God? If so before you go to extreme messures and break up with him.. try doing devotions with him. My boyfriend and I read a chapter of Psalms a day. We use to pray and do devotions together all the time and then he left for the militarty and we lost that. let me tell you that it is okay to think about him all the time. But you still have to make time for God. Your relationship with your boyfriend has to be You and your boyfriend AND God. You have to include him. Allow him to work through your relationship and if it is in his will than he will strenthen you to make you both stronger. I will pray for you and your relationship.. If he is a christian I will encourage you to stay with him and pray and read the bible together! God bless!! I am praying for you!! let me know how things work out! love your sister in Chrsit
Pammy <3

by: Shea

Hi Denise, you are totally right when you say that the deeper you get into a relationship the more hurtful it is when you break up, especially if your having any kind of sex. My advice to you would be to not date unless you are ready for marriage. If you are not ready, then why date? It only causes unnecessary heartache. It is so much better to have a pure and unhurt heart for your future spouse. When you do get hurt by relationships it hardens your heart making you less vulnerable and less trusting. Which only can harm your relationship with a future spouse. A pure and trusting heart is so important for a relationship. It will help you to bond and have the intimacy with that person the way God would want it to be. As for this relationship effecting your relationship with God, I would say I've been in your shoes. We naturally want to depend on this person rather than God. It is so easy to put God off. But it is important to not get carried away during this time. If you continue to put God off I believe it will only have a negative effect on your relationship with this guy. I don't know about you, but whenever I go through periods of time where God isn't first, things just don't seem right. I don't feel like I am me. It is only when I depend on God that I truly feel whole. Also God has so much wisdom to share that can be a relationship saver. He reminds you to put others first and to always love. So whatever you do, put Him first. It makes things just so much easier when you depend on Him rather than yourself. Hope this was helpful.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Difficult Breakups.

FREE Book and Bible Study for Teen Girls

Sign Up Below & Get This eBook FREE

Thank you for subscribing!

Get More Information

Let's Connect Online

Free Daily Devos
for Teen Girls

Sign up below to have these devos sent to your email daily.

Thank you for subscribing!

Click here for weekly devos or to find out more!

Get the Books!

21 Devos 
Only $0.99

Volume 1

Volume 2 

Books for All Ages

Candid Conversations -
Read real life stories from real Christian women, and discover how God has used their struggles to either refine their faith or used their faith to help them weather the storm. 

Get your copy here

Body Image Lies Women Believe - Read 26 different stories from 26 women and learn how to overcome body image lies with God's truth.

Get your copy here

Broken Crayons Still Color - Shelley Hitz shares how our biggest regrets, failures and mistakes become what God uses the most in our lives. 

Get your copy here

Worthy To Be Loved - We're told that purity is precious; that our virginity is a gift. So what happens once that "gift" has been opened? Join Jessica in this book to find out.

Get your copy here

Please note that we are a member of the Amazon affiliate program which is designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to

Get True Beauty Stuff!