my cutting story

by Kaity
(Arizona)

i am 13 and i started cutting this year. I had just gotten back from spending the summer with my aunt. I had a hard, stressing summer and I had also gained a bunch of weight. I had low self-esteem and I was deeply depressed. The a few weeks from getting back I found out my parents were very short on money (after being in the upper class since i can remember)and my dad was moving out. It was very hard on me because my parents were too busy to pay attention to me and my sisters hated me and would verbally abuse me.

Even though I had friends I felt alone and scared. I truly felt like i had no family. And many days that I wanted to talk to friends they wouldnt have time for me. I soon became to the point that I wanted to end my life. My best guy friend came along short after and tried to help but when he found out that i had starting cutting, he stopped talking to me. I tried to make my cuts bleed hard but they wouldnt let out much blood so I got frustrated and tried harder.

Nothing worked. I thought i wasnt trying hard enough. I was crying almost 24/7 and wanted to die.

Finally after many months of hiding it, people noticed and tried to help. After many fights with friends about it i gave up. Slowly I stopped. It was hard. I still have stuff hiding in my room. Truthfully I think my parents noticed something was up but they were too busy to ask me about it. I am glad cuz i think it would be too hard to talk about it with them. I still have suicidal thoughts most days but I dont cut anymore.

I have started to drink to ease my pain some nights but not often.