my black hole is my life

by Tiffany
(fenton)

well i started cutting 2 years ago. it started when i broke a glass doll by mistake and i was picking up the pieces when i cut myself by mistake. when it was all cleaned up i thought about what happened and went to the trash and cut my arm. it hurt like crazy and all problems went away for a little while. you see when this was happening my mom changed. she wasnt her self anymore. she was barley home and started drinking beer. my parents are always fighting. and i lost my best freind. it was my grandfather. i always have flash backs of my uncle touching me sexually. he's in jail now but it still hurts. we moved to a strange house and had no one to talk to. no friends, anger problems, never knew my grandma, havent seen my aunt lisa for years and deathly thoughts. one day i was going to kill my self till i meet my buddy aylissa. she saved me from me. no one in my house knows. i wish i could stop but i cant and i tried. i cant fight my feelings. the only thing keeping me alive is art. i love making art, so im hoping that will save me when ever i think about killing my self. because that buddy i talked about moved away. no one loves me, not even me. im fat and ugly and worthless. no one even cares about me. i want help. so im going to get it. i promise my grandfather.