My name is Bridget.
I am 15 years old and a sophomore in high school.
And by the way...I might be pregnant.
Let me start from the beginning.
A few months ago, I went to a party with my best friend.
While I was there, my crush started talking to me.
I was so excited because I had liked him since the beginning of freshman year,
but never told him. But he told me I was pretty and that I had a nice smile.
And then he told me he had liked me for a while.
Well, somehow we began kissing, and eventually ended up in one of the bedrooms.
I wanted to say no, but I let it happen anyway. It was just one time, and only lasted for a few minutes.
It's definitely not what I intended to happen, but it was nice...
but we didn't use any protection.
Now I've been feeling sick for several weeks, trying to hide it and chalk it up to a stomach bug.
Problem is, I've missed my last two periods. No, I haven't taken a test yet. I've ben too afraid of facing the reality of what I know is probably true. But I finally broke down and talked to my mom. She freaked out, as I expected she would and she asked me how I could be "so irresponsible". I feel so stupid.
After she calmed down, she called and made a doctor's appointment for me to be seen tomorrow morning. She tells me she loves me and that everything will be okay. And she says if the test comes back saying that I AM pregnant, she will support me in whatever I choose to do. "But honey, just so you know," she begins, "If you decide not to have the baby, I will support you. Cause you do know you can terminate if that's what your decision comes to." Her words become treasure to me. "I've heard of that before. They have clinics for this, right Mom?"
"Yes, they do. But, I will only take you there if you are SURE it's what you want. I don't want you having any regrets. But we don't know what's going on yet, so let's discuss this after you see the doctor."
I'm going to bed early tonight. I have a long day tomorrow. I keep thinking to myself, "There could really be a way outta this? I mean, there's adoption, but...NO! I could never give my child away! I mean, my child would never forgive me. Yes, abortion will be better! I would never have to see it or get attached! As I turn out the lamp by my bed, I begin to pray. If that test says I'm positive, I already know what I have to do, but I pray for His guidance anyway. I ask God to forgive what I have done, and for what I will be doing. And I pray for Him to be with me every step of this process. "God, I really am sorry, but this is too big to have to deal with and I cannot bear not knowing what may or may not happen if I have this baby that I know exists. This is what is best for me."
I am almost asleep, and I keep thinking, "I'm only a few months. It's barely a baby! It's not like it's gonna FEEL what's happening or even KNOW what's happening!" Finally, my eyes close...
and when I open them, I am in a very strange place. A dark place, but peaceful place. I seem to be floating in some very awkward but very warm bubble of some sort. It is very comfortable. I hear a very soothing sound in the background. Like a steady drum: "thump-thump thump-thump thump-thump."
I wonder where in the world I am, but I am too cozy to even care. That's when I realize I am naked. Although it doesn't seem to bother me. I can stretch my arms and kick my legs, and this bubble just feels so good. Soft like a cloud. This is true relaxation.
But, then something happens. I see a small flash of light, but it is very dim. And the quiet becomes so very loud, like a vacuum. I see a weird tunnel, with a funny looking loop at the end of it...although it is really small. It starts to poke at me through this bubble. "Woah! Hey! What the heck was that!" I think to myself. That thing actually stung a little. It moves back and does it again, and my warm cloudlike bubble breaks and becomes water! And then the tunnel starts sucking away all the water I was just floating in. What's happening? I am starting to panic! I try looking up, but there is no up. I look behind me and there is absolutely no where to run to. I am trapped. I want out of here, but I don't. I just want whoever is doing that to stop! I realize though, that they are not going to stop, and I need to get out! But there is only one way out. And it is through that tunnel. But the tunnel is dark and it seems to be tearing away everything that goes into it. Finally, I scream. But no sound comes out! I scream out for my mom, but she is not there! In a moment, I fall to the floor of this deathtrap, that was once a beautiful sanctuary just moments ago. I am crying now. The tunnel comes closer! And closer! And as I feel myself being pulled into it, I see red! My body seems to be turning inside out! I can't even feel my legs now. The pain is unbearable! Still, I am screaming. And still, no sound comes out! Where is my mom when I need her! I am so afraid. My body! It's almost gone now! And the tunnel! It's pulling me in! And it is so strong! SO STRONG! And during all of this, and through all this noise, all of a sudden, it gets quiet and peaceful again only for seconds, and I hear a whispering say, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you." "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
BAM! All of a sudden the noise is back, and I cannot hold on any longer! And even though no one can hear me, I scream out, "I'm sorry Mommy! I'm so sorry I disappointed you! I love youuuu......! And I feel the rest of me shoot backwards into that tunnel!
Suddenly my eyes fly open, and I am lying in a bright room! "Bridget?" I hear a voice say. "Get up, Bridget." I jump up, and that's when I realize the voice is coming from my mother. I am back in my own bed! "MOMMY!" I scream out. "Yes! What's wrong, honey? You're panicked!"
I take a deep breath and then calmly say, "Oh, nothing. I just had a bad dream."
"Well then, get up. We gotta get you ready for the doctor." she says.
As I am finishing up brushing my teeth, it hits me and I realize what I had just dreamt!
Later that day, the stick turned blue.
Bridget finished high school and graduated with her class. She is now attending college and majoring in child care. The day she got her positive pregnancy test results, she chose to carry out her pregnancy and give her baby life. She started attending church and began to turn her life around. During that time, she couldn't forget about the words she had heard in her dream, and googled them on the Internet, and discovered that these were in fact scriptures from the book of Jeremiah. So she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on January 22, and gave her own son the name Jeremiah, to glorify what God had shown and done for her. But, she knew with her age and being in school, and trying to grow up herself that she would not be able to give Jeremiah the attention and home life that he deserved, so ultimately she chose to adopt him to another family. She was pleased to discover that she had the option to have an open adoption, so to this day she is very much involved in her son's life. Jeremiah has a mom, a dad, and he also has his birth mother, Bridget, whom he loves just as much as his adoptive parents. He knows who she is, and they do have a close relationship.
It does hurt Bridget at times that she cannot claim Jeremiah as her very own, but she now knows that the plan God had for her from the start was for her to do what was best for not just herself, but her baby, too. Jeremiah is now 12 years old, and a happy, healthy 7th grader. He is truly an inspiration to his family and all who know Bridget.
Bridget hasn't once regretted her decision.