Is oral sex a loss of virginity?

I have heard many sides to the argument, but I'm still not sure on the answer. Some say it has the word "sex" in it so it's definitely a loss of virginity. But "phone sex" also has the word "sex" in it.

Some say by Biblical standards, one who has had oral sex is no longer a virgin and that virginity is a thing of the mind. Going by that logic we can also say that porn and masturbation are also a loss of virginity.

I'm not sure what this is. I don't know what to answer when my future spouse ask if I'm a virgin or not. I've only had oral sex once but I'm not sure if that counts virginity loss. I do believe it's wrong, it's a sin and it's not what being chaste is about. It's not about "how far I can go without going too far". But I'm still unsure if I'm a virgin or not.

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by: Shea

Hi, I've been where you are and let me tell you, I really wanted to believe that I was still a virgin. I have done a lot of research on this subject so I hope you will take what I say as truth.

You are quite right about pornography and masturbation as a means of losing your virginity. ANY sexual release is losing your virginity.

Here is the definition of intercourse from the dictionary...

Webster's definition of intercourse-

intercourse: physical sexual contact between individuals that involves the genitalia of at least one person.

We are to stay pure for our spouse, but if I watch pornography, lust or have oral sex, I am desiring someone that isn't my spouse. And when we desire someone that we are not supposed to, we have already been with that person in our heart, even if it's not physically. When you do have a sexual release that's not with your spouse, you are creating a bond with that person. It may sound strange, but it's true.

God created a special bond for marriage and when you have sex outside of marriage you create that bond with someone else. Intimacy in your marriage or that special connection will be lost. But God can restore it, it's just not very easy, that's why it is so worth it. I have been struggling to have that intimacy with my husband and it's hard. There is a lot of change I have to do in me to take away the damage I have created and it can only happen with God's help.

I can go on and on about this subject. There is so much information that I can't fit it all here. So I'm going to leave you some scriptures to check out. And I encourage you to pray about the matter, that God will reveal the truth to you and give you guidance.

If you would like to know more or have questions, feel free to email me at
I would be thrilled to help you in any way that I can.

mark 10:8

song of songs 2:7

Ephesians 5:25-27

I Corinthians 6:18-20

Matthew 5:28

psalm 119

great video
by: Shea

I forgot to leave you a great video I found on this subject. Totally check it out, it's got great info you may want to know.

by: Anonymous

Oral sex does not cause you to lose your virginity, however, it does take away your purity. While you are still a virgin, you would not be able to tell your future spouse that you are innocent or pure upon entering marriage. Since it was only once, I'm sure that he will be more than understanding, especially since you know it was wrong. Just be honest with him.

Oral intimacy is not a loss of virginity
by: Anonymous

Loss of virginity is when a man and a woman insert male and female reproductive organs into each other...period. Oral intimacy does *not* make someone lose her or his virginity. Anyone who implies that it does is just trying to unnecessarily shame you, and most likely they don't even practice what they're preaching to you; the whole "so as I say not as I do", holier-than-thou crowd. Just like self-pleasuring is not a loss of virginity; virtually everyone has done it at some point in their lives, but some people are never going to admit it regardless. IMO, don't let anyone try to shame you by saying oral is the same as full intercourse...because it simply isn't and never will be...

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