Im afraid of what im doing to myself

by Libby
(Oakham.Rutlan,England)

My name is Libby. And i cut myself. Ive always had a horrible life. mum and dad split up when i was born and i didnt see my dad for 3/4 years after that.

Mum introduced a new man called Nick into our house, at first he was really nice and i even started calling him daddy.But he started hitting me and mum when he was angry or if he came back after being at the pub and he was drunk then he would start an argument and slap my mum. I would stay up listerning and crying. One day i came downstairs and saw a smashed plate and mum lying on the sofa asleep. This carryed on for ages.
Mum became pregnant with my half brothers Oliver and Ethan and she was so happy, i dont understand why though because they were Nicks sons. They had arguemnts and mum punched her belly alot.
Oliver and Ethan were born premature, and soon after Ethan died. Nick said it was my Grandma and grandads fault that Ethan died and said they wernt aloud to see Oliver and me ever again.

Soon after we found out that Nick had been taking cocaine and mum threw him out. He came beging back to her like a lost puppy and they got back together. Since then ive been thrown across the room, called so many swear words, slapped and everything else thats bad happened to me.

Until one day a week a way from christmas when i was 12, Nick threw me out of my own house and i was told to live with my dad (who i had seen every weekend since i was 5.)
Thats when i started...
They were small and not very deep at first.
After about 3/4 months dad got a really good job in America in L.A. and so i had to move into my other grandmas house. Shes horrible, shes said so many offensive and mean things i cant keep track.
They got deeper and deeper and now there all the way up my arms.