I need someone to talk to

by Taylor
(Texas)

Well I started cutting at age 12, Im 14 and still cut. It started when i had nobody to talk to, was always doing things wrong, and shut out by everyone. One night i was just messing arround with a safty pin and i was really stressed. With the safty pin in hand, I cut into my skin on my leg. I felt better and that became the way I coped with things. Soon I started using knives, scissors, then razors. I cut my legs, arms, and wrists. One night I counted all the cuts after 2 weeks and ended up with a total of 48. I told my mother and we asked god for forgivness but that helped nothing. Although things are alot better i still cut and I now use razors and sometimes safty pins/needles. And i have about 8 razors hidden in a pill bottle in my room. Im not any religon anymore so it feels like I have to deal with the addiction i have on my own, therapists could help but i have a fear af them. Sometimes I feel stupid for what i do but then I realize it the only thing that helps. Really I just want someone to talk to about this. And i want to stop But I dont think I can.