I hate myself...


Hi, I am 13 years old and I think I have anorexia.

I was actually okay with my weight until this year. We had a sleepover and I weighted myself there... When I saw the scale I felt...fat. I was actually normal, but I wanted to be thinner. I saw models look really thin and wanted to be like them.

So, I started starving myself. I skipped meals and whenever my parents asked I would say that I have already eaten but I was actually starving. I quickly lost weight and my family become worried.

I don't want to eat more than 400 calories a day so, I don't eat a lot. I fought with my parents because of this. All my friends are saying that I am thin and that I should stop trying to give weight but I don't believe them... My parents are forcing me to eat which makes me shout at them...

I hate myself and cry every night... I want this to stop but I still want to lose weight...

Comments for I hate myself...

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by: Heather

Hey there,

When I was your age, I felt the same way. I never had the determination or gumption to follow through and lose the weight, but I definitely felt fat, even though I was technically within the normal weight range for someone my height. If that's the case for you, then you don't need to lose weight. In fact, if you keep losing weight, you could end up in the hospital or worse.

We all think we are fatter than we really are. I don't know why that is, but I have seen it to be true. When I look at pictures of my younger self, I was much thinner than I thought.

But back to you, you really need to find someone you can talk to. Whether it is a trusted adult at your church or school, or if your mom can make you an appointment with a doctor or counselor. Talking to someone could really help.

~ Heather

You are worth more than a number
by: Melissa

Have you ever looked at an object for a long time and it started to look different or strange? Or if you've ever said a word over and over it begins to sound strange.

This is the process of distortions of perception.

This becomes the experience and thought process in anorexia.

You no longer have the ability to view your body through a realistic and truthful lens. It has become distorted. That is why the number on the scale becomes so important to you because you ability to appropriately view your body is off.

But that number is deceptive. It doesn't tell an accurate story. It doesn't know your height. Or your body type. It doesn't distinguish between muscle and fat.

It also can't tell you how loved you are. It has no idea who you are as a person. Your likes and dislikes.

That number is holding you hostage!

Please seek support. You are worth so much more than this prison that you are living.

God bless you journey and recovery!

Melissa

You are loved
by: Anonymous

This made me sad. So much emphasis is put on how we look on the outside, but little is placed on the greatness within. I pray God fills you with His love and you begin to believe you are loved and worth Jesus' death on the cross!

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