I dont share his feelings and it hurts him

by lizzy

Okay there is this boy that likes me but i dont return his feelings at all. I have issues with this.

First off i feel like i hurt him without doing anything and i cant change the way i feel or he does.

Then what if i could be missing my blessing, but if it was of God wouldnt i like him back? Or does it work that way ?

And overall im just hurt because i feel like im hurting him? but i cant change it? I have never done anything misleading, i've just been nice to him? and next thing i know i get teddy bears and flowers all the time, and i feel bad for accepting them but he wouldnt have it any other way.

I know that dating is an issue with all Christians because its just leads to temptation but i am a young adult and in college and at the point where i would like a good companion not a "boyfriend" but like friend thats a boy with out that title and that relationship drama. But someone that i could possibly see myself with after graduate from college. Is it wrong to want that? and to pray about it? And are we suppose to like what the person we're with looks like? like did Eve think Adam was cute?

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Great Book
by: S'ambrosia

A book I read a few years ago that directly dealt with this question was "Passion and Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot. It is my favorite book and the most helpful one I found not only in the arena of dating, but also in how to submit all of my desires to God. Hopefully your library has it or you can pick it up somewhere. I let a friend borrow mine and she never gave it back, otherwise I'd give you some quotes from the book. Sorry!

by: sam

i have the same problem!!! i have known the guy for years, my best advice, tell the guy u love him as a brother and mayb one day something more. or something like, im confused right now and im rele just trying to think things through. hope i helped a tad bit!! i will be praying for u to make the right decision!! love, ur sister in christ!

Wow me too!
by: Katie

My goodness it's just so stunning how I am going through basically exactly what you are going through. Or perhaps I'm a bit more beyond that. At first the guy that had a crush on me wouldn't quit following me around and just you know the signals?? Even before he gives you anything you just know that he's more interested in you than all the other guys around? Giving you more attention than other people? Well I never felt any more interested in him than I was in any of my other friends. But after I told him that, which was after he finally verbalized that he had a crush on me, he just seems to be holding on to how he felt for me.
I just wish that he could stop being emotional about it but he still is. For me, this is what makes me feel like I've hurt his feelings. But you know what, I believe that even if the guy was chosen for you, God has set a time for everything and everyone. And I don't think God would be so pushy as to make the guy that's "chosen for you" to send signals to you that he is hurt that you don't share in his feelings for you.
At least for me, that's how I've concluded it. I mean, isn't it just simply unfair for anyone to not give you even that much space to figure out whether you feel the same or not? And also if you want to like them back as more than friends, at all?
I've made this solid decision and want to keep being nice to him, but it makes it very difficult even now, BECAUSE of his displaying how "sad and disappointed" he is to my response. Anyway, I hope I helped :P~
I think the one thing to keep in mind is, no matter what anyone says or how they change toward you, don't forget to just be yourself.
And as for the guy giving you stuff, really, if you don't feel comfortable with it, you should tell him straight off. I guess it depends on the guy, but if it were me, I would just tell him not to give me anything since it makes me feel uncomfortable. I think being straightforward about this kind of stuff is best. :)

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