I cut because I'm unhappy

by Anonymous
(United States)

So I come from a great family. I have loving parents and siblings who I know would do anything for me. I'm the baby of the family at seventeen years old. I have friends and I do well enough in school. I shouldn't be having these problems right? But I am sad and nothing especially scaring has happened to me. I feel bad when I read articles or stories about people who have been molested or hurt or anything because they have a reason better than just being sad, right? I cut on my ankles, because it's a place that no one is going to see. And sure, I don't cut deep and I don't cut long. They're just short cuts that are very thin right on the skin and scars that I hope will eventually fade. I talk to anonymous people online because I don't want to tell anyone. I don't want people knowing that I cut, I don't want my parents to get super over-protective or to be put on medication. I don't want to chemically dependent. But most of all, I don't want to be so sad anymore, because in all honesty it hurts, it really hurts. Sometimes I think if I wasn't so pathetic I'd kill myself, but I know that I'm so pathetic I couldn't do it. I'm not brave enough to seriously injure myself.

I feel like I don't have friends. I feel like I don't fit in. I feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I feel like I finally took off my rose colored glasses. Everything is just so awful all the time.