I Agree Yet I'm Confused

by Brittany
(Louisiana)

Joshua and I

Joshua and I

My name is Brittany. I have been with Joshua for two years now and I really feel like I have a connection with him. I have dated a lot of guys sadly, but out of every one of them I have never been as comfortable around them as I am with Joshua. We talk about everything. I am not shy around him. And I am able to say I love you and thats always been hard for me to say to a guy. We do have a problem though; For a while we have been stuck. We havn't had sex, but we mess around. Its a "lost in the moment" thing for me. After it happens He cries cause he says he doesnt want that in our relationship. I'm really confused and I was wondering if you had any advice for us. I want us to get help. I know he cares about me but I just dont see why we have gone down this path. It would be great if you would reply back. Thank you!

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not gonna like this
by: cassandra

ok, so you're probably not gonna like my answer, but what i have to say is that i think you two should take a break from each other. i broke up with my last boyfriend about a year ago for several reasons, but partly b/c he was wanting to go farther than i was, even though he said he didn't, his actions told otherwise. i was glad when i did break it off. i'm not saying you need to be like i did and completely break up, b/c like i said that was just one of the reasons i broke it off with my ex(its complicated), but rather, maybe just take some time and just be friends for a while and just talk about why you two are really together, whether its for eachother as people, the fun you have, or whatever you do together that neither of you are really comfortable with. but honestly, if he's crying after whatever you two do together, then that very well could even be God's way of saying that He's not pleased with what you're doing either..if one of both of you feel that way, then you've gone too far. well thats just my opinion on the matter.
Slow down
by: Ambreya

Really the only thing that will work is space. Your feelings are natural and it's hard for you to control them. Since it is important for you to wait until marriage for sex, I recommend you slow things down with your boyfriend. I know this won't be easy either but really the way you are headed isn't a good thing. Eventually things will just keep progressing until you end up both regreting things. I'm not saying you have to break up with him. You can just make sure you keep space between you two at all times. Go out on group dates. Only visit each other when other family members are home. Limit the time you spend alone or cut it out completely. Don't go to the places that these things have been happening. Example, if it happens when you two are alone at his house, only go over there when his parents are home that way you aren't alone and tempted.

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