how do i stop?

by kate
(u.s.a. wisconsin)

masturbating. how r ways to stop? and no, i cant talk about it with my mom.

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How to stop
by: S'ambrosia

Hello Kate,
Thanks for coming to the site and sharing your struggle with masturbation with us. By the grace of God, I've been able to overcome and I have not turned back for almost three years now. I know that God set me free to help others discover freedom, so I'm so grateful for the opportunity to discuss this with you:)

First, I just want to make it clear that you can't just stop on your own. We are all weak humans and even though our spirit wills to do right, our flesh is weak and we easily stumble right back into sin. You've probably experienced this before if you've ever determined that you would stop for good and then a day or two later you do it again. I know that battle very well and I tried to fight it on my own for over 10 years... no good. The only way you can truly overcome this is with the help of God. The good news is that He is ALWAYS willing and able to help anyone who calls on Him. So, the first thing I would encourage you to do is to share with Him your desire to be free from this, repent and offer your weakness to Him (in our weakness He is strong). Ask Him to walk with you step by step each day and help you overcome.

Next, I always tell people to make a contract. Look up God's part of the contract in the Bible (it's kind of a fun way to get into reading your Bible). Find scriptures that speak of His faithfulness to help you and write them like this:

God agrees to: 1)Never leave me nor forsake me. 2) Be faithful to complete the good work He started in me. Etc

Then, I want you to think of your end of the deal and write that down.

Kate agrees to: 1) Fix my thoughts on things that are pure and lovely 2)Flee from sexual immorality Etc.

Sign it, date it, and post it somewhere that is easily accessible to you. Let that contract be a constant reminder of your promise to work this out with God.

Then, find a witness. Choose a friend, or a parent, who will keep you accountable. Someone you can open up to about your situation, who will pray with you and encourage you through it all. You're probably thinking that you can skip this step, but you can't (sigh). This is one of the foundations to freedom, and I should know because I chose to confess to all of my friends on facebook by writing a note! I knew that I needed to stop trying to hide my sin in the dark because I couldn't get over it alone. If all my friends knew I was struggling with masturbation, then I would know that they would be asking me about it and I didn't want to have to tell them I relapsed.

There are a few other key things I did, but if you read this already super long post, try it and let me know how it went and then I'll get back to you about the rest. I'll be praying for you in the meantime, okay?

Much love♥

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