he broke my heart so many times

okay, so in august i started liking this guy at my school. he seemed so sweet and cute and i really thought he was a Christian. he really liked me 2. this went on for a while, and then i met a girl who has known him for a long time. She told me who he "used to be". he had bullied people, ruined her YEAR, been a troublemaker and a jerk, he gets really bad grades, hes boring, he doesnt care, etc. (he was all of that 2 years ago) despite all of that, she and i became really good friends. i ignored what she said, because i was convinced that he had changed. he ALMOST asked me out on november 17th, but he didnt cuz he was so nervous. i still though he had changed since all of the stuff she told me happened. on november 23rd, he started to prove me wrong. he started being a jerk and a bully. when we came back from thanksgiving break, i was so furious with him for a day or two. then i forgave him. i still liked him and he still liked me. but i was starting to see through his innocent disguise. i struggled with myself for what seemed like years, but was actually about 2 weeks. i kept trying to let go and move on, but i couldnt. i kept holding on. on december 6th, i overheard him telling his new friend, whos even more of a jerk, that he (the guy i liked) almost got kicked out of his old school. he was extremely proud of it. when he got in trouble 5 minutes later, he was proud of it again. i knew i had to let go. i couldnt hold on any more, but i couldnt let go. but on december 8th, i finally let go. i was SO happy. but on the 9th, my joy turned into pain. once again, i struggled with myself. i was so upset and broken. when i looked in his eyes, i could see that he was in brokenness and pain, too. on december 13th, he was making fun of me for never having a boyfriend before. he laughed at me, and insulted me. i let go for the last time. i DONT like him anymore, but it hurts SO much. what doesnt help is that everything's unspoken. it was a silent relationship, but i know he REALLY liked me. im over him, but heart is broken and I AM broken. PLEASE pray for me and if you have any encouraging words, songs, links, quotes, or Bible verses for me, PLEASE comment!! THANK YOU for reading my LONG story!!! God bless!!!

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some help=-]
by: Natty

God is love. God isn't like love, God dosen't represent love, he is truly love, God is love. When you make a total whole-hearted effort to be a christian , and have Christ live through you, the right guy will come along to you because of who you are, your good and bad. He'll love you for who you are, not money, popularity, looks, or any superfiacal, unpromising things this world has to offer, he'll come for something eternal, who you are. Some guys aren't just the one. But the one will come someday, never give up that hope. When you are in trouble, tell God what you are feeling, your honest feelings, ask him to strengthen you, and help you, as you gain a closer reletionship with him. Hope this helped=-]!Also love thy neighbor, and thy enemy! Also, when you want a mature response to some things people say use the yes and technique. For example. Pretend like he comes up to you and says" Haha, you've never had a boyfriend!" You respond like"yes, and, I'm waiting for the right guy to come along, and i don't feel like settling with any boy, just so I can say 'I have a boyfriend'" Anything that he wanted to get out of you wheter it be sadness, madness, loneliness will vanish as you tell him your true, mature feelings. Love is patient, Love is kind.

There is a Greater Love
by: Jess

You've gone through something painful, something that hurts but it will heal. Ask God for healing, to close that wound in your heart.

As for resources there is something I'd really like you to look at:

http://books.google.com.ph/books?id=xkb0KBpKHmsC&printsec=frontcover&dq=captivating&source=bl&ots=lQaMY9l5tM&sig=qKzxgDpO7zrHHUWmPQE7yMEU5KA&hl=tl#v=onepage&q&f=false

It's Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.
Of course another excellent book is here on this site.

What really helps me when I am down is to worship him, just to give you heart to him. EVERYTHING there in your heart to him your pain, your disappointment, your brokenness and he willl restore you. Be honest with him, God can take it, he wants you to be honest and truthful with him.

If you can do this take a moment, maybe when you are parents are out and go into your room and lock the door. Then spend time in the 'sanctuary' cry out to him, tell him all your pains as you would tell your friends, pray, sing. Just express everything to him, even anger.

You are feeling pain because have been cut off from something you were once bonded or attached too. Ask God for healing in all the place in your heart that you are still wounded.

As you probably see by now there is no one quick and easy solution to stop feeling what you are feeling what you are feelingnow. But keep seeking him and as you get filled in him, you will be wrapped in a love that heals all wounds and scars.

You can also listen to this.
When things have felt hopeless for me and when I have felt defeated I often listen to this song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbSMfL5LuSo

I hope this helps,
in one way or another.
Jess

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