Girl, 17

by Rae
(London, England)

I feel like I've been alive for so long, but somehow I've only just started living. A few years ago I was a very different person to who I am today; dark, depressed, bitter. I wore black most of the time to draw attention away from myself but it had the opposite effect. Everyone wondered why this little girl was so sad. I blamed it up on upbringing. My father left before I was born and ever since, I've blamed him for a lot of the hardships my mum and I have been through. I was angry that we had to live off welfare, that our house was damp, that in winter you had to wear your jacket inside because it was so cold. Inside I was hollow. I felt ugly. I had scoliosis. Clothes didn't fit right. Shopping was a nightmare. My mother didn't understand because I couldn't explain myself. I sought solace in music - mainly metal. I loved it. It helped me to express my bitterness but it just made me more bitter. One day during summer, I decided that I didn't want to be alive any more. I tried to end it, but I was always too afraid. A few months later, I begged to go see this band. I didn't really know them, I'd only heard a couple of their songs but I knew it would be good. That night, the lead singer shared this woman's story: she had set herself on fire in an act of desperation - to reach out, to feel. But what she felt was unbearable pain and she cried out to God (something I hadn't done before)and he saved her. Needless to say, she has horrific scarring but she goes around sharing her story and it saved me. I wanted to live with the passion for life that she had. So I called out too. I'm here 3 years later, finally living. Grateful for every breath I take and hoping to inspire others to live too. Sorry for the length of this but I get excited when I talk about the cool things Jesus does :)

Comments for Girl, 17

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by: Natalie

That's a beautiful story. I'm so glad that you have decided to let God into your life.
Best Wishes,

by: cassandra

that's awesome!!i'm glad you never went through with ending your life..i think sometimes God puts the fear to end our lives in us(even if we're not Christians at the time) b/c He knows our potential..thats awesome to hear how God used one story at a concert to change your life!

by: Rae

God doesn't put the fear of ending our lives in us. It's the devil, he sees our potential too...he knows what uhmazing things God has in store for us and so he thinks 'i'll nip it in the bud'

what i meant
by: cassandra

here's what i meant..i know that God will do whatever He has to to keep us alive, even if it is us being afraid to end our lives.

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