Emily's Story: Bullying led me to my breaking point!

by Emily
(Kalamazoo, Michigan)

At a young age I was taught "Love doesn't always work out" my parent's divorced, leaving me and my 4 year old twin brother to make sense of why Mommy left Daddy. Why Mommy didn't call for weeks. Well it was because Mommy left daddy for another man. And I didn't take too kindly to that. At age 4 I was also bit by a dog, the scar on my face was ugly and I was teased at preschool for having stitches. I have thought myself not to be pretty for as long as I can remember. Finally reaching Middle School I had always let the teasing kinda..sink in? No, I didn't think it bugged me but truly each name took a slash at my heart. Soon the bullying increased with names, and they would throw things at me. Eventually I slumped into my own darkness, what was on the inside i began to take on the outside. I just thought what if physical pain, could take over my emotional pain. At first I used a sharpener blade, just doing on my palms and fingers, little cuts. Then it started not being enough. I started cutting deeper, and on my arms, i hid it. But the worst thing i told someone about it. Someone I thought cared about me.

She told people, not the good kind. my peers
and soon people i didn't even know where saying "That's the emo 7th grader, really I've heard she's been cutting since 6th!" which i had, In 8th grade (where i am now) i began thinking.... this world would be better without me...and i just walked outside and laid in the road. And its like the world stopped, and God called to me saying "Get up, you've overcome cutting since November (it was this January when this happened) now isn't your time, I'm not ready for you" So like snapping awake from a long sleep I was up and inside, suddenly aware it was freezing outside, I felt something for the first time in along while.

How i recovered

Friends true friends! Emma and Maddie I thank you for helping me. Maddie for delivering God's grace. And Emma for holding me while i cried..listening to me. Both of you loved me when i thought no one else did.


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