curves

by Alexis
(utah )

I don't really know where to start. When I was in 6th grade, the boys in my class made fun of me a lot. That summer I started swimteam. I slimmed and got a lot of curve. I was fine with it up until this last summer. I had a hormone imbalance which made me have an irregular cycle. I was on my period for 6 months streight. When it finally got bad enough I decided to tell my mom. When I went to the doctor she told me it was really common. So to fix it they put you on birth control. When I started the pill I gained 15 pounds in 2 months. I was gaining so fast that now I have stretch marks. My self esteem really took a down fall. I felt so fat and I still do. I have been trying so hard to lose weight. In the last 3 months I have lost 10 pounds. But when i look in the mirror all I see are my flaws. Especially my body shape. I am 15 and wear a D36 bra size my pant size is between a 8 and 9. I may look skinny with over average size boobs and big hips, but I'm not. My friends tell me they wish they had my body type but they don't know how much I wish I could trade mine for theirs. My friends call me J-Lo cuz my but is big. They had me balance a pop can on my butt and I could. I acted like it was funny when I was around my friends, but I was crushed inside. Last year a girl I didn't even know asked me why I walked with my boobs and butt sticking out, which hurt a lot. I cry myself to sleep most nights. All day at school I want to cry. I feel like I do everything wrong. I try so hard to hide all of my self esteem issues. I am really talkitive and outgoing and everyone thinks I'm so happy and a lot of the time i am, but sometimes the happiest people are not that happy.