I am 14 years old and my cuts aren't very big, not at all. What I would do was take a little blade and run it over my skin several times. I didn't want to go deep because I didn't want scars to remind me of my pain and plus, when out in public (I don't let anyone get a good look) if anyone saw them on my wrists under all my bracelets (I cut my wrists) they would look like little bloody scrapes. No one ever questioned me and I am happy about that. But also on my wrist, there is a word I carved, LOVE. And every time I cut I go over it several times, so now its a scar. But I don't try to cover it up. I'm surprised no one has noticed it yet. It's pretty big now, though.

I first cut when I was about 11 years old. I was pretty upset after getting into a fight with my dad. I always get into fights with him, I still do. We are so different, we believe in different things, etc. But the thing that really upsets me about him is that he thinks my sisters (they are younger than me, one is 12 and the other is 11) are more depressed than me. My mom died. Whenever he writes letters talking about that, he talks only about how depressed they are (even though I'm sure they're a little sad, they are no where near being depressed) and he never says a word about me. I have tried to talk about this to him, but it didn't do any good. When I first cut, it was with a small tiny knife. As I said before I was mad at my dad. I was holding it. I liked how the blade was cold, so I would always put it up to my skin. So when my dad was yelling at me, I was squeezing the knife in my hand (not the blade, but the blade was still touching my hand), trying to make the pain of his words go away. Then the blade suddenly went through my skin (it wasn't a deep cut.) I felt instant relief and my anger was gone.

I forgot all about that relief until this year. I was pretty angry about something and that memory came back to my head. I grabbed a manual pencil sharper and took the blade off. I put some anti-bacterial stuff on it and cut right across my wrist. I felt so much relief (this cut was the deepest out of my others, I have a scar.) After for about two minutes I watched it bleed. It didn't hurt until after it stopped bleeding. It stung a little. I went online and read about other people who cut. I decided I was going to cut, but not have scars.


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Bloody Love is God's answer to us all
by: Anonymous

Hi - please forgive the play on words but as I read your story, my heart asked the Lord, "what do I say?" Almost immediately, I thought about the tremendous love of God, the tremendous cost of sin, the tremendous sacrifice wrought that I - we could have a brand new life.

You see His Son's Blood was shed for you. It's not a cliche' but truth. Why did He send His only Son to die in your place - love. His Blood poured out in your behalf because of love.

It has to sadden His heart because it would appear you don't know that. You don't know how much you are loved by our Father Who is in heaven and yet His eyes are here beholding you. Jeremiah 1 says (to you), "(before) the world was formed, God knew (you - was intimately acquainted with you and impregnated you with a purpose) and chose your appointed time of birth for a specific calling. Eccesiates 1 puts it this way, "the thing that was is that which shall be". Revelations talks about the Son of God, "slain (before) the foundation of the world". Psalm 139 would say to you, "(before) you came out of your mother's womb, God wrote your purpose in His book (before) you lived a day.

Do you see what's being said? You are a wonderful God-ordained creation with an assignment to fulfill. Don't allow the enemy of your soul to deprive us of your gift. Because of the tremendous challenges you have had to face, God must have some tremndous joys for you to experience as He uses what He placed within you to make a difference in another's life.

So yes, "bloody love is your answer". But not yours. You need the redeeming power of the Blood of Jesus the Christ, Son of the Living God. Put your faith in Him and trust Him to bring you through. Don't allow the pain of yesterday and probably today, to cancel out your tomorrow.

Go to church. Go before God and talk with Him. Ask Him for guidance and grace to forgive and let go so that you can have a fresh start.

And everytime you feel the need to cut, say no! His Bloody Love is enough for me.

Please keep writing - we really want to know how you're doing.

God bless.

by: Daisy

it really broke my heart to read all this because i used to cut myself too and i dont want anyone to go through that. i know what its like to have all this pressure and cutting gives you that release but in the're only hurting yourself more.i used to cut for the same thing too...fights with my dad and all that.i hated myself and i still have scars.i cut for four years and i got really addiced to it.i started out by doing it once every while then once every few weeks then once every week then i got to the point where i had to do it every day.every cut got deeper and deeper into my arm and wrists.i felt empty and i was weak physically and emotionally.i want you to know that you will get through this.if i did it so can are valuable and you are a child of God.when you hurt youself you're hurting your loved ones and God.i know its tough when you have alot of pressure but you can do it!you have a heart that is precious to God and He's waiting for you to let him fill in the emptiness you feel.God is a are His daughter...that means you are a need to love yourself and turn to God.i was a mess and i had to surrender to Him so He could heal me.i will be praying for you no doubt!you will through this!keep us updated please!

same here
by: Anonymous

i cut a "G" on my arm cause i really like a guy and his name starts with a g and he doesnt like me back but i always go to the worst possible reason.

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