A Real Life

by Rebecca
(Troy, AL)

I have always been raised in a christian home, it seemed normal to me to go to church, and to always do what was right, but beginning to grow up i got into the wrong group of people. I felt like i was alone all the time like no one cared about what i said or did. I started the 6th grade and began to do things that were not Godly i got in trouble for being accused of stealing my friends possessions. Then 7th grade came i found joy in a guy, i say i found joy but what was really there was emptiness, it seemed like he cared but really he wanted someone who would say they were his girlfriend. Then i got into 8th grade i spent most my days in ISS it wasn't what i had pictured for myself but i shoved Christ away and made the worst path for myself, that's when i dug myself deeper i felt angry with Christ because he didn't try getting me back i felt angry with family because they acted like they didn't care, i began to fade into the darkness...i felt so hurt i started harming myself starting in the 8th grade i starting cutting myself because the pain i felt seemed like it disappeared when i did that but the pain was still there the emptiness was still there. My dad wasn't really home and as a daughter i wanted that relationship with my father. But it just began getting worse

because i didn't have a good relationship with my mother either. I found comfort in my 8th grade math teacher he was the only one i could really talk too. He helped me realized that everything in life isn't gonna be perfect but i heard that for the longest time, i wanted a different answer. sure i went to church still but it didn't satisfy me i began to thirst for more, but could never find it. My 9th grade year was the same, and then after my 9th grade year i moved to Alabama, I felt like that didn't help either because i moved away from the ones who helped me, but then the summer after my sophomore year i went to a camp called M-fuge in Nashville, Tennessee, the lord really moved in me and about the 3rd day of the week Christ had broken my walls down i thought i was saved because what i thought was saved became true to me, then clearly i saw i wasn't my junior year was a repeat of my 8th through 10th grade life, but i returned to M-fuge and on the 20th of July 2011 i became saved i prayed the prayer of salvation i accepted Christ as my savior and put him first in my life. I realize that i am a sinner , but if i ask for forgiveness Christ will always forgive, and i am now trying to build a better relationship with my family and stay close to the lord.