A cutter's life

by Maggie
(USA)

Ever since i can remember I used some form of SI (self injury) to cope with my feelings. I was always the girl who was "perfect" and always had a "smile" on her face... I learned from a very small age that showing any emotion that was negative was "bad". I guess you can say I was emotionally abused.


Anywho, I started cutting when I was around 8... I don't remember how I discovered it... it just sort of happened. Now I'm 15 and my cousin has threatened to reveal my secret to my parents.... my parents know but choose not to care I don't think she knows this. What she is doing to me makes me feel angry and upset but she doesn't care and I've got no idea what to do. Don't get me wrong I've done terrible things in my life and I know I don't deserve anyone to trust but I'm so tired of running from myself.

I guess my point would be if you are wondering if you should make the first "fatal" cut...don't do it. There are other ways if you make that first cut, it will haunt you for the rest of your life. You will constantly be running from yourself not knowing who to trust or who to keep your distance, you will become paranoid jumping when someone touches your arm in fear they will discover your secret. Never being able to focus on school because your obsessed with SI.

Please if your thinking of hurting yourself talk to someone....tell someone how you feel (parent, Teacher, Counselor, or friend) reach out!

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Heal, child, heal.
by: Croi Bris

(1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
20 You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Cutting is not good for you. Period. God says that in the Bible, about how you are to treat yourself with respect. If you want healing (even though your message was somewhat supposed to be encouraging), then you should seek God first. Then try to help others.

It's like when you are on an airplane, and the flight stewardess says that in case of an accident, and the oxygen masks drop, that you should first put the oxygen mask on your own head before helping the person next to you.

Why is that?

It's because you need to be able to function, breathe, and survive adequately before helping others. Before giving advice. I pray for your healing, of body and mind, and I hope for everything in your life to come out alright.

Seek the Lord for comfort, where with Him it is okay to feel hurt, He wants to know all you can do for him. Give Him all of your burdens and you will feel joy; do not hold on to any tiny bit of your old self.

God bless you, Sister in Christ.
no title
by: cassandra

hey girl..i know where you're coming from..i'm a recovering cutter..i started cutting when i was about 17 and had been struggling for a couple years before that..i'd heard about it from others and knew it wasn't what God had for me, but it got to that point that i had to do something..i'm also from a family that doesn't encourage any showing of emotion besides happiness..i would cry and my mom would tell me to stop--that i'm too big to cry, and she still tells me that..i learned that from the time i was about 13 or so, i had originally started self-harming, though i didn't realize it--what i mean was that i would deprive myself of food somewhat..not to the point i definately needed help, but close..i'm now 21 and still struggle with both..its not fun but i'm learning that with God's help, i can overcome both..and you can over come your cutting with His help as well!
addicting
by: xXxdeathchildxXx

i am 13 and have been cutting for about a year. i want to tell my parents but dont want to get beat to death. my cousin did some research in her data base at her office(she is a nurse) and told me that cutting is an addiction. when you cut you release a morphine into your body that is the same chemical that you get from doing heroin and weed. cutting actualy is a way to get high for some people.
she's right
by: cassandra

she's right, cutting is an addiction..however, i do think that the word you're looking for is endorphins, instead of morphine. morphine is a drug, a painkiller..endorphins are the "feel-good" chemical in your brain..when you cut, those endorphins are released, and that's what gives you that temporary relief, which is why its so addicting.
if you're not in any real danger from your parents, i would suggest you telling them--they'd want to hear it from you first. what i mean by the "first" is that your cousin legally has to report your cutting since you are a minor, even though you're also her family. i know that may not be what you want to hear, but its the truth. legally, it does have to be reported, and i would suggest that you, with you cousin, sit down with your parents and tell them, as long as you're not in any immediate physical danger from them.

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