I'm scared to tell my friend she's gone too far

I've always been the biggest prude around, never kissing boys or anything above that.

Well, when my best friend hit 8th grade, she got a boyfriend. At first I was like okay great for you, but then her boyfriend started not to like me because I was taking up all of Karlie's (my friend) time, so I started to dislike him.
On Halloween night, I was sitting on the floor in her "hang out" room while me, her, and her boyfriend were watching I Am Legend. I turn around and she and her boyfriend are under the blanket making out. It literally freaked me out, and I wasn't sure why, but it was just so weird to suddenly see my best friend being smothered by this boy she had been "going out" with for a few weeks. Throughout the rest of the movie, it was really awkward for me. I would hear her giggles and the sound that their lips made when they parted and I wanted to close my eyes and shut out my ears. I had never kissed a boy and even though I had tiny text-message crushes before, I wasn't ever used to having a boyfriend.

At the end of the night I went home and I texted Karlie saying that she and Sid kissing so heavily made me uncomfortable, and she apologized, saying that she felt bad I had to sit there and watch it. I was only in 7th grade, but I was mature for my age, so I typically hung out with older kids. I guess Karlie thought that I was supposed to know that hanging out with older people would bring a lot more mature things, especially, boys.
Karlie would never stop talking about Sid. When we would have sleepovers, she'd talk on the phone all night to him, leaving me sitting in the corner reading a book and thinking, "Gigi, just wait a few months. They'll be over."

Karlie was always the strongest Christian I had known, but her commitments started slipping a little. She would always get a little too much into kissing. Sid (her boyfriend) would kiss down her neck and collarbone and she would tell me all about it. It made me a little uncomfortable, but I had always wanted to know what it was like to kiss a boy.

One day, Karlie told me that she was going to marry Sid. I rolled my eyes and thought, "Yeah, lets see how long THAT lasts." She and Sid talked about how many kids they wanted to have and that whole enchalada. But, then one day, I asked Karlie if she still held her commitment to save sex until marrige. There was a pause on the instant chat before she answered, "Idk." It made my heart race because I knew she and Sid had been doing things. I don't know if they went full-on sex, but they'd lay together under a blanket and wrap up into each other and kiss.
I always thought they were getting too serious at such a young age, and I tried to tell her, but whenever I do, she gets mad at me and tells me to back off.

What do I do?

Me and Karlie keep getting into fights about this and recently we had such a big fight that it nearly ripped all the threads of our friendship apart.

I don't want to make my friend upset but I don't want to see my friend break her commitment.
I'm even more afraid that she'll get pregnant or get an STD or something.

I just wish that Karlie would stick to her commitment and save sex for marriage, but now, her commitment and her thoughts have changed.
Can anybody help me?

Comments for I'm scared to tell my friend she's gone too far

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talk
by: Anonymous

Hun,
Your a true friend.
Its better to talk instead of staying quiet.
Think about it. What would be more painful.
her getting hurt or you telling her the truth on how you see things and that you care and want the best for her.
and pray that she understand.

honestly..
by: cassandra

honestly, what i think you should do is talk to her parents, and tell them what your friend is doing..i'm sorry, but she's way too young for sex, and you have a right to be worried! my best friend got pregnant our freshman year in high school, and she's gone through so much heartache since. if she won't listen to you, you need to talk to her parents and hopefully she'll listen to them. i know its a tough decision, and honestly, i wish i'd done that with my friend, but i didn't. i'm praying God gives you the wisdom to know what to do, and what to say, and how to say it.

good friends show concern
by: Anonymous

I can remember being just like you when I was in high school. I over heard a friend of mine telling a mutual sexually active friend that she was ready to have sex with her boyfriend. I ran to my bible club leader and cried my eyes out. And although this girl went on with her plans and there was nothing I could do to stop her, I did pray for her. And now, we are both 25, and she is a very strong Christian. Though she made mistakes, as we all have, things turned out good for her. Don't ever give up on your friend. Tell her how you feel and that it disappoints you to see her act this way. Pray for her, even if she won't speak to you. But also know that you can't make her decisions for her, but you can show her a better example but staying pure yourself and letting her see over the years which one of you is left broken hearted by all the "Sid's" in the world and which one of you waited until you found true love!

Are you crazy?!
by: Gigi

Are you crazy, I can't go to her parents! Her parents will think I'M nuts not to mention what little friendship we have left will be utterly destroyed.
Thank you for your guys concern!! it means a lot to me.
Karlie and I have gone our seperate ways a lot, and her locker is close to mine in P.E. We don't talk barely at all and we remain in contact rarely on Facebook. Things just parted for us once she got a boyfriend. It hurts, it really does because I know shes gunna get her heart broken and one day I'll be completely out of her life and she's pushed away ALL her friends to be with this boy and she's going to be alone in the end.
I think she and Sid have already began running towards forth base, petting each other and stuff. Maybe not full-on sex, but high school comes next year, and I've talked and talked to her about this but she refuses to listen. She says 17 is the golden age where she wants to give herself to Sid, but I know its coming sooner. The way they touch each other, the way they breath heavily under blankets as they kiss, the way he licks her neck. It's coming and the hardest thing is watching it and knowing you can't do anything about it.

Same situation
by: Anonymous

Oh my gosh the exact same thing is happening to me and my friend *Britney with my other friend *Nicki right now...it's terrible. Nicki always tells me and Britney about what happens on her dates and we always get more and more disappointed with her and recently she refused to tell us what happened on her date. We knew they had been making out and going a little farther each time...and we kept telling her to break it off or stop going farther but we can tell she's not doing either. We are all Catholics...so we have a commitment to save sex before marriage. The worst part is her boyfriend *Jason is one of our best friends. I tell him everything and he's a great friend but when it comes to relationships he's a little pushy...and he always makes fun of Catholics being so strict...so we feel like he would pressure her into sex eventually, and we are freshmen right now. She definetly knows how we feel...and we especially hate when they makeout in front of us..we tease her about having dry sex since that's basically what she's doing and she won't believe us. But now she's really mad at us.

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