I am expected to be perfect but I am not...

by Ami
(United States)

I don't have any friends right now. I am home-schooled, I don't go to church, and I was recently hit by a car while walking (the driver of the car was at fault). Ever since the car accident I have been in a lot of pain. So, all my athletic activities have been put on hold. I used to be in regular school and I had the best grades until my last year. My last teacher did not teach things right and I pretty much had to relearn everything from the beginning once I began homeschooling. I am now taking classes through the internet with a sort of virtual classroom. It takes me a typical 8 hours to watch the lessons and take an hour brake. I really like the virtual classes because the teacher really breaks things down for me to understand. But I have a lot more responsibilities than the typical teenager (for instance we can't get to the laundromat so I have to wash laundry by hand). Everyone thinks that all home-schoolers have only 4 hours of school a day so work and responsibilities are just piled on me. I am behind on housework. My papers are not filed because I procrastinate because I am afraid I won't do it right. I am starting to fall behind in schoolwork but I am afraid to ask my parents for help because they will know I am not smart (they are going to find out anyway if I don't catch up by the end of the month). I used to be so athletic and thin but since the accident I am in too much pain to exercise and I am just disgusted with myself. All my friends left me (except one) last time I gained weight. I became extremely ill after they left me I constantly cried and the doctor wanted me to stay in bed for a month. I finally lost my last friend. All I was left with was bittersweet memories and I really loved them all. I am not really interested in boys so a lot of girls think I am gay so they will not be my friend.

I am so afraid to start anything because I am not as good as I used to be. If my current best is not as good as my old best is it still my best? Should I even bother trying if I am not good enough?

Sorry about the long question.

Comments for I am expected to be perfect but I am not...

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No one on earth is perfect...
by: Simi

We can only strive to be somewhat perfect according to our own standard but God sees his design i.e. You as perfect. I am sorry to hear about your accident and what life has been like for u since the incident. I am sure there is only soo much you can take, but i just want to encourage you to know that you are not alone and the friends you say you have lost only left to make room for others to come in..

We will all go through hard times in life but you must remember that it is your attitude towards it that determines how you get over or rather deal with it. I think you are one determined young lady to keep educating yourself and doing those things you used to do before your accident, not everyone will do the same, others would have given up long time and that to me is perseverance.

Be what you are and do what you can, focus on enjoying what you have and let God see to the rest, you will be amazed at those things you can be "perfect" at. Just don't let it dictate your life.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!
by: Kaylee H

Baby Girl...
It breaks my heart to hear you speak that way.. Satan has been lying to you darlin. He has broken you down, and just like he does with most girls(including me) makes you think you are not good enough. Let me ask you this...is God good enough? I pray that you answered yes. He made you in HIS image...God is perfect baby girl. He will never leave you nor fail you. He brought you into this world for a beautiful purpose. Surrender yourself to Him. HE IS ENOUGH. Make Jesus the prince of your life...and what others think wont matter anymore. I know this is the last thing you want to hear... but if you surrender to Him...He will take care of you. Take every burden you have to the cross. YOU DONT HAVE TO TAKE SATANS NONSENSE! HE IS A LIAR!! You are beautiful because God is beautiful. Lean on Him...He already died for you...you dont have to bear this weight. Memorize this verse for me doll..."Everything is possible for he who believes" - Mark 9:23. BELIEVE in yourself...BELIEVE your worth it...BELIEVE HE loves you...BELIEVE Satan is a liar...BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!! Anything is possible with God. He will take you beyond your wildest dreams love...you just have to trust Him...Surrender your all, and He will give you His all. I love you.
Your sister in Christ,
Kaylee H.

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