he broke my heart so many times
okay, so in august i started liking this guy at my school. he seemed so sweet and cute and i really thought he was a Christian. he really liked me 2. this went on for a while, and then i met a girl who has known him for a long time. She told me who he "used to be". he had bullied people, ruined her YEAR, been a troublemaker and a jerk, he gets really bad grades, hes boring, he doesnt care, etc. (he was all of that 2 years ago) despite all of that, she and i became really good friends. i ignored what she said, because i was convinced that he had changed. he ALMOST asked me out on november 17th, but he didnt cuz he was so nervous. i still though he had changed since all of the stuff she told me happened. on november 23rd, he started to prove me wrong. he started being a jerk and a bully. when we came back from thanksgiving break, i was so furious with him for a day or two. then i forgave him. i still liked him and he still liked me. but i was starting to see through his innocent disguise. i struggled with myself for what seemed like years, but was actually about 2 weeks. i kept trying to let go and move on, but i couldnt. i kept holding on. on december 6th, i overheard him telling his new friend, whos even more of a jerk, that he (the guy i liked) almost got kicked out of his old school. he was extremely proud of it. when he got in trouble 5 minutes later, he was proud of it again. i knew i had to let go. i couldnt hold on any more, but i couldnt let go. but on december 8th, i finally let go. i was SO happy. but on the 9th, my joy turned into pain. once again, i struggled with myself. i was so upset and broken. when i looked in his eyes, i could see that he was in brokenness and pain, too. on december 13th, he was making fun of me for never having a boyfriend before. he laughed at me, and insulted me. i let go for the last time. i DONT like him anymore, but it hurts SO much. what doesnt help is that everything's unspoken. it was a silent relationship, but i know he REALLY liked me. im over him, but heart is broken and I AM broken. PLEASE pray for me and if you have any encouraging words, songs, links, quotes, or Bible verses for me, PLEASE comment!! THANK YOU for reading my LONG story!!! God bless!!!