Being Pulled Into The Teenage "Norm"

by Mileyah
(Indiana)

Hello,

My name is Mileyah. And I am just going to tell you right off the bat that this might be a little long but please read cuz i'm in desperate need of help.

OKay so first off i'm 15 years old I go to a public high school. My grandpa is a pastor and I have lived with my gparents most of my life due to my mom heaving a hip repleacement and issues with that and alcohol addictions and pain medication addictions. But anywho, I really have dug myself into a hole. I have really bad problems with porn & masturbation. I have made so many promises to God I am not going to do this again but I always break it. And after I get done watching the porn or done masturbating I feel really disquisting and get mad at myself. And I really wanna stop but I don't know how to. Also, I have been trying not to date anymore at least the people at my school because I give into peerp pressure easily. All my real boyfriends have been this year and my first one wa sfun we had a nice time but he wasn't a virgin and we would talk sexual to eacother and i sent him bikini pics of me. Then my second boyfriend that I was completely in love with or so I thought we would have sorta sexual conversations and I had sent him bikini pics but then he had asked me to send him something naked or a video of me stripping or just pics of my boobs and I said no so many times and then i gave into it and stripped down to my thong and bra then took my bra off. I had sent him 2 videos of him seeing my boobs. And one time before tht my friend and i had the video recording when I took my shirt off i still had everything else on but yeah and she was like yu should send it and I did so I guess that is how that all started. And a couple of my friends know about all that but I can't realy talk talk to them about it and I just need help and I don't know if I should tell any family or keep it to myself. I have sent bikini pics to other guys but I haven't in ahwhile. Write before this I watched porn and masturbated. I also am trying to quit cussing but so many people do around me and I get sucked into it. So any help their? My grandpa is a pastor of my church and I used to be such a sweet helpful ball of sunshine but not anymore. Now ive gone to the club and I danced on random guys and it's like I still want to go and have fun but I know it's wrong so I want to quit. I attend I am second meetings and I go to church just about every Sunday and Wendsday. Can someone please help me with all my problems. Thank you so much! :)

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please dont do this
by: Anonymous

you cannot make broken promises to the lord. ever!
The boys that you are doing these things for do not respect you or love you they only want what you can do for them. boys will be boys. especially young ones. My mother taught me this at a very young age and it always stuck in my head and i never allowed them to persuade me to to do anything like this because I know the truth about them only wanting one thing. These boys can get in a lot of trouble with the law for asking you to do these things as well. You are not respecting yourself either. You do not need boys to fullfill you. It will only cause pain, disappointmentand regret later. This is never a good thing. you could end up getting hurt in an emotional or physical way, in a major way. my heart goes out to girls that think this behavior is just not a big deal.

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