What is my will to live?

by Morgan
(Us, new jersey)

Hi my name is Morgan
Im a freshman in high school and this is my story... It started in 7th grade when I was called fat by one of my peers... That's when annorexia took over my life. I wouldn't eat for days and weeks, when the pain in my stomach was really bad I would grab scissors and make it a point to cut my self so my mind would not focus on my hunger and more on my scars... I got better after a while, because after I began running at a track meet I passed ou at he finish line. The school took me to the hospital and told me I had to start eating again or they will put me in the psychiatric ward. I began eating but I still cut I would wear jackets and bracelets to hide them because on the outside I was as happy as the next girl but my scars said different... My teacher knowticed and told my parents and they yelled at me and said I was disgusting and called me the reject of the family. They took away all of my braceletts. I then began to cut my self on my a ankle stomach and hip... Soon enough my parents bought me a watch bc they thought I was done but I wasn't I still every day for made fun of for who I was... So I got clever I marked were the bracelet fell and cut there nobody noticed. I did that all the way up untill this year when I got rid of the braceletts and got scissors and cut the most I have ever cut so dangerously deep others just enough to bleed. That next day the boy I liked asked me out bc he showed me his cutts and told me that were not alone anymore.... Although I still have to fight the urge to cut Its easier to forget about it when im with him... :)

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help
by: Anonymous

It's good that you have found someone that is going through the same thing you are so that now you can get through it together. Talk to him about u both starting a fight againest temptation by calling on another when u feel the urge to cut. Tell one another why you feel that way and what has happened. Then, pray together for one another. Then, before you know it God will have pulled you through it all. Also here is a 24/7 phone line with professional prayer conselours to pray for you 1-800-759-0700. I have used many times and it has always helped me. God loves u unconditionally in a way that's incomprehendable to us because of how much he loves us. Also Jesus died for you.
Love,
Natalie

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