There's more than meets the eye.

I'm a 15 year old girl. Not so long ago the smile on my face was real and natural, now it is forced and there is pain behind it. It's funny how things can change in such a short amount of time! Well, to cut to the chase, a few months ago I was having an absolutely terrible day. I felt like crying and breaking down in the middle of school but I couldn't, I didn't want to show my weakness and pain. That night I went home I wasn't exactly thinking right so I grabbed a pin from my corkboard and dug it into my wrists although it didn't bleed (I was too scared to actually inflict such pain on myself). I did it again though and that time, it did bleed and my addiction began. From that day on cutting has been my way of coping with sadness and pain. My way of seeing it is that the physical pain takes my mind off the emotional pain and it's something I have control of. It gives me relief. I began wearing bracelets and jumpers all the time. Mind you, it sure does a good job of hiding the scars because no one knows of what I have done and still do. The thing is, I'm not sure anyone would truly care. My friends aren't true to me and I'm basically a third wheel to them. I'm always left out and they just don't seem to care when they hurt my feelings, they simply laugh it off. I can't tell anyone about it because I live in a place where the word 'emo' is tossed around a lot and with the nonsense people label 'emo's' as is shattering- no one really understands. I have no one to talk to and cutting helps in a way. I know it's long but I had to get it out there. I hope at least one person reads this. I guess it would help me in a way to know I'm not alone.
Love. <3

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We're Never Alone
by: Amanda

Even if I'm just one person, I read this. Sometimes I feel like a third wheel around my friends, too, and faking a smile seems like the only way around it. On bad days I feel like tearing myself down, too, and often I feel alone. But we have to remember, we're not alone. Our God promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us, and we can't forget that. It's also important that our problems don't blind us to our blessings. In the words of one of my teachers, "What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you thanked God for today?" Thank you so much for sharing your story, and God bless.

You're not alone!
by: Brenda

I want you to know that I care about you. I'm so glad you wrote in and told someone. I understand how you feel about needing a release. Sometimes it is so hard to talk to others about what is going on in your life. They just don't seem to take the time that is needed to listen to you. It is so important for you to get help with this. Things will only get worse over time. I'm praying for you and you are not alone. Christ is with you right now. Christ doesn't want you to harm yourself. Do you know that your body actually belongs to Christ? You wouldn't want to do something that displeases Christ would you? Something you are doing intentionally to your body? I know you say that there is no one you can talk to. How is your relationship with your parents? Tell them you need to talk to them about something important and set a time to discuss it. If you can't talk to them, maybe a teacher, or school counselor? Sometimes it helps to write down your feelings, like in a diary or journal. I know that you feel helpless and hopeless right now. Don't feel ashamed! Everyone makes mistakes and are forgiven through Christ's love. Talk to Christ about what you feel and speak with someone in your life about this. I'm Praying for you. God Bless You. Love in Christ!

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