Scars you left behind.

by Emily
(Galway, New York, Usa)

I've had a bad past. at 12 years old i was raped and nearly drowned. No one knew. I started cutting when i was 13, not only from the memories of my past, but also from current problems. The nightmares are unbearable. I'm constantly bullied and harrassed in school. I've held up my arms in defense too many times. I'm 15 now, and things haven't gotten much better. My boyfriend abuses me emotionally, physically, and sexually. I've lost many friends, and those that i do have are quick too judge and aren't there for me. My family is actually a very healthy family, but they're not there for me either. I feel alone. I cut nearly everyday. I don't think I can stop, but I'm not sure if i want too. It's release. It's a distraction. I focus on blood and pain on my arm instead of the terrible memories. It's also sort of calming in a way. I can't fully explain it, but I feel like it helps.

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