~NoT sUrE~ what to do...

im a 12 year old girl, who is secretly anorexic-from 6mnths im 5'0ft tall im currently 77lbs. before 2 weeks i was 84 lbs.it is EXTREMLY important that i be the thinnest in the class. i really dont know why am i doing all of this...
it is so stressful that every time i go shopping or anything i compare my body to every one around! it is just the fear of that if i became older will i still be able to fit in the smallest size possible -(size 00)!!! i sometimes regret what im doing so badly and i start eating but then after looking at thin people and looking at the mirror,i punish my self for that, and stop eating for 1 to 2 days. in my extreme-dieting days i eat an apple and a 200ml semi-skimmed milk and bits of chocolate for energy -tot cals:150(for the whole day).i really wanna to ask for 'help' but im just
~NoT sUrE~
i really DONT want to gain weight after their 'help'! ill feel very guilty. - -
~

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Prayers
by: Julie

Hi, I am praying for you right now. I can sense your nervousness going forward and letting someone know all that is going on with you. I understand not wanting to feel any more pain by doing that, but I want you to know that it can be such a relief to have someone you trust and love know how you are really feeling. It might be hard at first because you may have a lot of uncomfortable and awkward feelings, but even adults have been in those places in some form or another, and I believe the person God brings you to talk with will have compassion and understanding to listen and see how to help you.

I pray now that God would come into this situation and show you who that person would be that you can feel comfortable talking to about this. I pray that you would talk to someone who is kind and who can care for you as you need it. These things are hard to see right now-especially when all you can think of is your body. Sometimes we need others to help our focus be in other directions so we can continue to be healthy- in our minds, bodies, spirits, all parts of us.

I know from experience that bringing something into the light, letting it go from it's secret place and giving it to God and others lets go of that power and hold it has on us. It might not mean that everything will be instantly better or there may not still be struggles, but it doesn't feel quite as stressful to keep it all inside. I know that in some of my struggles with eating/food, the book of the Bible, 2 Corinthians was of great encouragement to me.

Prayers for you!

Julie

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