My Testimony

by Betty


Hi my name is Betty. and I am 18 years old. I grew up with a religious father. My mom has never been very religious. but she went to church with us. We went to Catholic Church a few times a year, and then when I was 9 my parents got divorced and we stopped going. When I was little I believed in God like I believed in the Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy. I didn't really know Him.

My mom would do things after I went to bed that she didn't want me to see. She smokes and still does but keeps it a secret. She would lock me in my room at night and I would smell the smoke and thought the house was on fire. I would start crying and shouting for someone to unlock the door. The next morning I would ask her why she locked my door and she said she didn't know what I was talking about and promised it wasn't her. I started believing that God was punishing me and locking my door for being a bad kid. When the door was locked again I would pray to Him and say if You unlock the door I will pick up my toys and etc. The door was never open and I didn't understand.

After my parents got divorced my mom became an alcoholic. She probably struggled with family deaths and the divorce and lost herself. I tried so hard to fix her and so hard to fix the marriage and became her mom throughout middle school and high school. All of it ended in screaming fights every night. None of my family and friends knew and it was always my secret.

I stopped believing in God all together.

Around junior year I found out that the reason my parents split up was because my dad was having an affair and has other children from it. I have grown up with half siblings that I know and love but had no idea I had other younger half siblings that I never knew existed. I really didn't know how to process all of this information.

I started going to Young Life around the same time and had leaders pouring into me. I started to hear about who God really is and realized that the only person that I can lean on is God. I had never really had my parents to lean on and I learned that I have no control over what happens in my life or other peoples. I can't fix situations, but God can and all I can do is pray and lean into Him.

I just finished my freshman year of college and this is the first time that I have really started giving up life for Christ. Im working with a ministry in Hatteras Island for the summer and hanging with high school and middle school kids, and discipling them. I still struggle a lot with bad memories and feeling emptiness. Forgiveness is hard and being emotionally numb is something I have struggled with, too, and am currently praying about.

Comments for My Testimony

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by: Heather

Hey Betty,

That's a really rough experience you had growing up. I won't even pretend to understand what you went through, but I know that God does. I know that He was there every minute, and without a shadow of a doubt I know that He loves you. I am so glad that you have Him in your life. Because with Him, healing really is possible.

I don't have any advice for you today, but I wanted you to know that I am praying with you and for you. May God heal you and use you to encourage others who may have experienced similar pain. With God all things are possible.

With love in Christ,
Heather

Prayers for you
by: Kay

Thank you for sharing this. ♥ Prayers for you!

~ Kay
The Divine Presence

Thank you
by: Taria Shondell

Thank you for being so transparent! I believe GOD has given you an ultimate testimony that will help other young children and he has put you in a position to pray for them.

I pray GOD continues to heal you and comfort you.

My heart breaks for you
by: Rachel Dahl - a la modest

My heart breaks for you, for the experience you had to go through. It's earth shattering to see your own parents split up when they were your world, your foundation for existence. Our relationship with God has always been compared to a marriage (church and God) but that image has not always been easy. Same with the image of God being a father if our earthly father has not been loving to us. I feel your pain. Sharing this is a step to your healing. God is the love that is beyond compare, and He will be your light and healing in this dark world. Stay strong! You are not alone in this fight.

Praying for you
by: Leslie

Bless your heart. You have had a hard time. It sounds like you have found some good support for your faith journey now.

Awesome
by: Andrea

awesome testimony - God is SO good! :)

What a story
by: Anonymous

What a testimony you have such a hard story to share but in the end you have been blessed to tell the story. Many hide away and repeat behaviors they saw as children. God bless you.


http://shopannies.blogspot.com

Beacon
by: Samantha

Thank you for sharing and creating a space for others to share their testimonies. Whispering a prayer for you, and may your journey to wholeness become a beacon of inspiration to many other young women!

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