isn't high school suppose to be amazing?

I'm fourteen, suffering the worst year of my life. I'm extremely suicidal and i wouldn't wish my pain onto anybody on this earth i hurt so bad. Nothing's getting better. High school has been awful from the second week. I liked this boy, we dated. I went over to his house. And he tryed to rape me. He fingered me, after i told him not to and i had no clue what to do. I was terrifed and shaked up and told my mom's friend who i was really close to and she made me tell my parents. When i did, they were mad at me for going over there.. when they drove me. Then a little less than a month later my geometry teacher beat me with a belt 24 times. Really hard. Nobody belived me, although he's in jail and found guilty. So now i have absoulty no friends and the one i did... always gets high and we rarely talk anymore. That destroyed my life. I was in shock for month's, now that i came out of it. I cut myself. I tryed to strangle myself three times within the past 24 hours. i just want to die. But not burn in Hell. I love God. I wish i knew he'd take me to Heaven if i killed myself. Because i can't take it anymore. Im at the end of the rope, beside the tree where my body's going to be hanging one day. i dont know what to do. and my heart honestly and actually aches. I cry for hours. Sometimes days. I cant take anything. Help me please.

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Come to Me
by: S'ambrosia

Hello Love,
As I read your post, my heart is heavy to think of how you must feel at this point in your life and the weight of the burden you've been trying to carry on your own. I am glad to know that you remain alive today, and I pray that you will experience the freedom and peace of the love of Christ to a degree that far outweighs the pain.

During worship at church this morning, God put Matthew 11:28-30 on my heart to share with the church. I believe it's something He's saying to you as well.

"Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I know I don't know what you look like, but I see a picture of a girl in my head, which represents you. She has this dark and heavy mass on her back. It's overwhelming her, suffocating her, and making it incredibly difficult to walk. In front of the girl stands God. He says, "Come to me." Once the girl makes it to God, she lays her hand on his chest, and there's not like this powerful gust that knocks her down or anything like that, but just the sweetest, most gentle feeling of peace that begins to flow up her arm into her body and the weight on her back falls off. Suddenly she can breathe again and she feels refreshed inside and out.

I believe that God wants you to touch His gentleness. To lay your head on His chest and experience His goodness. You think what you've been feeling is overwhelming? Try feeling all that God has to offer. Trust me, you want to be overwhelmed by that;)

First of all, I know you mentioned heaven and hell, but are you Christian? If you aren't, you need to commit your life and your ways to God. You do that by simply coming to Him in prayer and telling Him that you want Him to be the Lord of your heart; that you want Him to be the One you live for. That's what you were created to do, live for Him, so you're dedicating your life to Him. If you are a Christian, it sounds like it's a good time to re-dedicate yourself to God. Just to make it clear, these aren't just magic words that you say to make everything better. This is a decision that you're making to no longer let your flesh and your desires have control of you, but to give control to God. You're making a lifelong commitment to follow where He leads.

Let's just start there for now. Have that conversation with God and let me know when you've spoken with Him. I'll be here (I'm the moderator for the website), so I'll keep talking to you, okay?

I'm praying for you and pray that change begins in your life this week.

Sorry
by: Anonymous

Sorry to hear about so many serious attacks, from people you trusted, have happened to you. Be very careful what situations you put yourself in, and don't go to unsure places by yourself. Also, let your parents know where you are going. You really have to find a church, where adults are there to help, and can give you advice, and show you how to help yourself and have a relationship with God. Also, you can look for better friends, who can be there for you, and not bring you into drugs or alcohol.

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