I don't know anymore

my name is hope...i cut my freshmen year in high school because a girl i knew did it and it seemed cool and i liked the attention people gave me....i never really cut persay but i would scratch my wrists with my fingernails until the skin wore away and i bled and stinging brought me to a state of nothingness...i still everyday want to do that but for a different reason now because i hurt im like so many people on this website....i wanna cut i want out of high school as a senior im ready to leave high school for forever and ever...im a christian too...why would i ever wanna do this??? my own mind makes no sense...

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