GOD IS POWERFUL
My story is powerful and many teens have been changed by what God has done through it.
I was dating a good looking boy all through high school. He was the life guard at the pool and coach of the wresting team. He was sometimes kind of possessive, but i just thought he loved me and wanted me all to himself. If i went out with my girlfriends, he would call or follow me to see if that's really where i went. he gave me his class ring our Junior year. I was ecstatic..i was not only dating this tan, muscle man, we were now going steady! I thought all the girls were looking at us as we walked hand in hand to our classes. I was very proud to be thought of as his girl.
Soon He got his father's permission to take me on a car date to the movies..at first when we went anywhere, we would only kiss goodnight. then it became much more with some petting, and than one night into more than I was ready for. After we were through, I felt dirty and ashamed of what i had allowed to happen. I knew this was his first time, also. somehow things just changed after that. He really got possessive and even more controlling. My parents tried to talk me out of becoming so involved with a boy, and to date around, but i told them he was the one for me.My parents had no idea that we were having sex, after all, i was a christian girl and had been going to church all my life.
Well to make a long story short , I became pregnant at 17 and we got married when we graduated. It was alright a t first because i stayed home to take care of our little girl. as the years went by,he was becoming more and more verbally, physically and mentally abusing to me.One night he came home from work aroun 12 midnight and literally pulled me out of bed and shoved my head down toward the trash. He proceeded to tell that I forgot to set out the trash and that i needed to get my coat on and take it to the curb, all the while screaming at me that i was lazy and didn't do anything all day while he made all the money. I cried a lot.
Every day there was something that i either didn't do. or didn't do to his liking.we had two beautiful boys later and he decided it was time for me to get a job. When i went to work, the house had to be spotless. If ii made a mess in the bathroom, ie.hair in the sink, or water still on the shower walls he would call me at work and yell at me. I got a lot of phone calls. So my coworkers decided to intercept the calls and say i was too busy to come to the phone. this only made it worse. I worked second shift and he first so we wouldn;t need and sitter. When i got home at night, i was expected to perform sex acts on him as soon as i got home. he would then go to sleep. I was glad at he time, because at least that calmed him down. He slowly isolated me from my family and refused to go to family functions with me stating that they didn't like him and i was allowing that behavior by going. He made bad comments about me to the children like-your mom is an airhead. if it were not for me, she wouldn't have anything.
My middle son was starting to be aggressive toward me and would kick at and try to hit me in the face.this was all from what his dad was teaching him- women were trash and not worthy to be treated kindly. i didn't tell my story to my family, because i didn't want to hear the " told you so. " I put up with the verbal, mental and sometimes forceful sex for 9 long years. One day, i woke up after my father passed away and said. I am going to do something about this problem. so i gathered up some things and packed up the car. i told the kids were going on a trip.
My daughter was 9, my middle son 4 and the baby was almost a year old. I got as far as the road of my parents home and turned around and went back. I knew that if he found us gone, he would make my life and the children's miserable. We tried counseling, but to no avail, our marriage ended in divorce. since i had not shared my story with anyone other than my mom and sisters, everyone thought i was just mentally tired, or needed and break from the kids. our friends all thought the sun rose and shone upon my husband. aournd other people he was nice and presentable. no one believed me when i would try to tell them it was because he was abusive. They all thought i was having an affair and shunned me. my ex even had the neighbors and our friends apy on me to see where i was going even after we were separated.
This control lasted about 5 years after our divorce. The phone calls, the spying and stories made up to protect himself. He even had started telling the children things that hurt and weren't true, but i just kept quiet thinking that he would finally get tired of it. he never did.my life was ruined as far as i knew. where was god? why did he let this man hurt me and tear my insides apart.
I started praying one day for God to give me a disease like cancer so i could die and not have to listen to hin anymore. everywhere i went i could hear him and see him. he had changed me into an frightened and mentally ill person, and i was not worthy of anything. God told me when my son graduated from high school to go to my husband house and confront him about all the bad things he ever said and did to hurt me. I went, but i was not able to say anything, but"I FORGIVE YOU". He just looked me and stared. i walked away knowing that God was now in control of me and my life, not him. I was finally set free from being a prisoner to him.
I tell this story to my new youth members at our church. I want them to be aware of the dangers of getting pregnant and marrying young. especially when god is not at the core of your relationship.
God works in you and through you if you just let him. God bless You all.