God has been working and fighting my battles everyday. Always. But for about a month now the devil has been tearing me down. "A battle of the mind" is what i have been told. He was making me worry about what i was doing. If i was being a good christian. Did i look bad..(like a "not-so-good-girl") doing this or that? And filling me with worries about my future! Things that wouldnt even come for another like 10 years! Worries from my past he used to destroy my relationships like he has come to do. lie kill and destroy! He made it to the point where just talking about all this mess would give me a headache and would just make me completely too exhausted to come to God for help. Sounds bad right? Its true. I mean as bad as i wanted to give it up to God. I just couldnt i felt like i needed to deal with it on my own. And instead of Him telling me what to do it felt like i was telling God what to do! (God forgive me) =\ Thats only half of what was wrong, but God told me one night to talk to someone. Because i had been to prideful to do it before. I didnt want the people that looked up to me to see that i had fallen so deep in a mess like this. But i did as God wanted me too and texted my best friends mom which i go to Church with, and asked if we could sit down to talk after church on Sunday. So she agreed. That day came and i was scared to death! I didnt know how i was going to explain all this to her. So i got the courage and asked strength from God and for Him to direct our conversation. After church we went to her house for sandwiches. Then we went on her front porch swing and we talked about all of these problems the enemy had casted upon me. Letting all this out to someone who had been through stuff like this really helped. Which i knew God was there the whole time.(= He has helped me through EVERY SINGLE THING HERE! and this was just yesterday... lol and he is still fighting with him on MY side. Even for me! today! But through Him i got strength and the devil aint got ahold of me no mo! lol
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