I'm a teenage cutter

For as long as I can remember I've always been the odd one out. In elementary school I was picked on daily & it only got worse when I got into middle school.

I remember when I was 12 me & a boy I had been liking for a while became boyfriend/girlfriend. For the first time in my life I felt like some one actually cared & loved me, but then we broke up & my problems began. I had a friend who had told me that she was cutting.

I slowly started cutting and it became like an addiction & once or twice a week I would cut. At the end of the summer I had about 20 scars on my leg from my cutting.

Me & my friend decided we would stop together & that's what we did. For an entire year neither of us cut, but when I entered the 8th grade this year, I was made fun of on a daily basis, but I thought that if I kept a smile on my face & was nice to everyone I could get through it, but I was wrong.

Soon it became overwhelming & one day after school I began cutting again. To me cutting is like a way to deal with the emotional pain in a physical way. After I cut I feel relieved & like the emotions that drove me to do it in the first place aren't even there.

Right now I'm 14 & I still struggle with cutting. I want to quit, but I just can't. Things always seem to pile up in my life & the only way to get it down is to cut.