If i could change anything about me, Is how i see myself.

by Katie
(Tucson AZ US)

I Hate how i look at my self in the mirror everyday and always find my flaws.

I mean i got a hair cut about 5 months ago and it was bad and my self esteem went way down and since i went into high school some people liked it others make rude remarks about it or just look at me funny.
I hate it. Its like i have to have long hair for people to accept me. Everyday i regret getting a hair cut because i feel as if i would look beautiful with long hair. I also have curly hair so it didn't help much. So i had to straiten it often just for it to look longer.
Now my hair has grown a bit after 5 months, but i still want it longer. I just hate feeling self conscious. Its like everyone is looking at me and judging me and it drives me crazy, but in the outside i act normal.

I had problems with acne but now they are getting better.
But all my self esteem issues had cause me to start an eating disorder. I used to make my self vomit. My dad told me to stop.
I then became anorexic for 4 or 5 months and i lost alot of weight.
I weighed 130 and i was 5'3 and i was an 8th grader.
After i starved my self and worked out excessively i was down to 99 pounds at one point. I hadn't had a period for like 5 months and i had problems using the bath room.
Now i went to the doctors and i got help and now i weight around the average weight for me is 108-110, So im healthy again.
I promised my parents i wouldn't hurt myself again.

Comments for If i could change anything about me, Is how i see myself.

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Jan 10, 2012
by: Anonymous

Praise the Lord youre getting help! I am so thankful that He gave you the support you needed from your parents.
Katie, your hair does not have to define your self esteem. Yes,we should all feel good about ourselves, but stressing over something as temporary as a haircut, makes no sense. You've probably heard this before but oh well....do not listen to what others think! If you do, they will tear down your confidence. And i've found that true confidence comes from knowing Christ. If you're confident in who you are in Christ, then you'll be confident in other areas of your life as well.
"For the LORD will be your confidence,
And will keep your foot from being caught."
Proverbs 3:26
Praying for you, Katie!
Love, a sister in Christ

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