i WAS a cutter

by mary
(lake charles, LA USA)

Hi, anyone who is reading this. i am 15 years old and i have been cutting for 5 years. yes, i know it seems a little strange for a 10 year old to cut, but it isnt. the story is that my mom is an abusive alcholic and my dad is a stoner who is always going to night clubs and everytime he would come home with another girl. my mom didnt care because she was always wasted. for a week straight i had to buy my own food because there would only be alcohol and/or weed. i knew in my mind i would never do what they do. but then my mom started hitting me for no reason. i had to buy make-up to cover the bruises. i couldnt take it so i started cutting. at the time i thought maybe my mom could see my emotional pain by having physical pain. nope. instead he kept hitting and puching me more!! as time went by my dad left my mom and she was depressed all the time. she would drink herself almost to death. when i was im 7th grade my friends found out. i thought my life was ruined. i thought wrong. turns out my friends were doing it too. of course i was sad but it made me feel a lot better knowing that i wasnt alone. so we all wanted each other to stop so we started a fundraiser at our school to help pay for us to get professional help. we ended up with 17,000 dollars!! so once we all got help we started this way to help was to put a rubber band around our wrists to stop the urge to cut. every week we would all get together and check each other for cuts. ever since then not one of my friends including me have not cut.so there is a way to stop no matter what the problem is because your not alone.