How it all started

by Cece
(CT)

I was always the kid everyone picked on. and yet it still hasnt changed. im a freshman in high school and ive been a victim of bullying since kindergarteen. the older kids would take my head and slam into the schools cellar door thing. i was always so depressed but never made it obvious cause i didnt want to be questioned on it. in sixth grade is when i first cut.i thought it was releaving. so i kept doing it and kept hiding it. then my dad found my razor and asked why i had it,so i said it wasnt mine. obviously he didnt believe me so he told my mom. my dad was really mad and yelling at me but little did he know i was cutting cause of him too. so my mom came to me to talk about it and i spilled my heart out to her. now me and my mom are really.close and she knows everytthinggg about me that my dad would never be able to know. i had gotten therapy after this situation. it helped alot and then i stopped going and things got bad again. i got tempted to cutt a few times but didnt. it makes me feels weak. but it can make me feel strong that that's the worse ill do insead of taking it to a new level (death). then i started dating this guy and we had unprotected sex. i had a very good chance of being pregnant. and my friend knew. but me and her got into a fight and she told everyoneee i was pregnant and now all theese people think im a whore cause of my mistakes. im not pregnant though. i got my period the other night. but it stresses me. my bf doesnt like that all these people know we had sex and of course i don't like it either. but im so tempted to cut, but i hold back. im stronger than that.