why

by Sabrina
(Texas)

I grew up faster than any child should have. I became the mother of the house hold at 6 and in the 10 years to pass I would learn what it felt like to be unloved. my mother is not there and she keeps her distance for she for fear of corrupting me. my father left the day i was born but he refuse to know I exist. I started really timid and i only brushed the blade across my skin to see the blood well up. Then my step father began drinking and life became... hard. I took every hit that I could and I stepped into his hitting range when he went for my siblings. I refused for them to be hurt. I taught them how to hide and how to run and if the needed to how to fight. I taught them and I tried to keep them safe until the state got involved and split us all up. I moved in with my aunt and I never spoke a word. I sat. I watched. I listened... It tried to be good but I was use to fighting and they beat me down until I wouldn't fight anymore. I became the shadow of life and I became suicidal the cuts became deeper and longer as time passed. Then I met James my fiance. He saved my life and I saved his and because of each other we are alive today... but I am only 16 and my family hates his family and they have moved me to my farthest relative so I shall never se him... I am waiting for him 2 more years. but its getting harder not to cut the longer I am away from him the blade is in my head and last night it was in my hand. I wonder why they cant see that he makes me happy... i am trying to see but... why?

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Stay Strong
by: Melinda

Don’t give up on life!! As humans, we struggle and wonder whether God is helping us, but He does even when we don’t think He is. He wants what is best for us and doesn’t want us to hurt ourselves. We are God’s creation and it hurts him when we hurt ourselves. I’m sorry that you have been through so much pain-nobody should ever have to go through so much. Know though that God cares for you. You have a strong will and your strength to stand up for your siblings and protect them shows that you are a truly caring and special person. It must be extremely difficult for you to be split up away from your family- but know that God will work things out for you. Pray to Him-cast all of your sorrows on Him and He will bring you through all of this. Know too, that He created you for good works and that He has a wonderful plan for your life.”For we are what He has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life.’’(The Harper Collins Study Bible New Revised Standard Version, Ephesians 2:10). Although you have current trials, they won’t last forever and I’m sure that you will be reunited with your siblings in time. I also don’t know why they don’t want you to see your boyfriend, but I think what you need to do is explain to them exactly how you feel about him. They should also be willing to explain to you why the two of you are separated for now. Perhaps they have a good reason for now or perhaps they just don’t understand what his character is like. Also, talking to a counselor would give you extra support and help you through this difficult time. But above all, seek God and his help. Read his word and pray for help. “I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, so shall I be saved from my enemies.” (The Harper Collins Study Bible New Revised Standard Version, Psalm 18:3). Things will get better in time-stay strong!!

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