When I said I didnt want to be like the stars in magazines, I finally wasnt lying to myself.

by Jen
(Canada)

Since I was in grade six, I had been throwing up anything I ate. This all started because my mother would call me fat. In grade eight it got worse. I began to just not eat at all. And anything I did eat I threw up anyway. When I grade eight came to an end, I was 68 pounds, hospitalized and tube fed. I think my eating disordered past has something to do with the emotional abuse I suffered from my mother and the physical abuse I endured from her boyfriend. In grade ten I had gained weight. I was up to around 90 pounds. I was still throwing up. Near the middle of the school year I started hanging out with a friend who I told everything to. She begged me to stop. At some point in those few weeks of her trying to convince me to stop it, I listened. I finally realized what I was doing was stupid. Even though I thought I was better, I wasnt. At the end of grade ten I started starving myself and throwing up again. During the first couple weeks of summer I told people about what was going on in my family life. I was finally out. I was living with my friend who I mentioned before and her mom accepted me as her own daughter. For once in my life I felt loved. I felt like I didnt need to stop eating to control my life. I still look in the mirror and see a fat person looking back at me. I still pick apart myself and find everything wrong. I still see the pudgy areas on my body. But the difference now is that I'm really not sure they're there. It may be my distorded body image, it may not. I dont know if I'll ever be happy with the way I look, but my friends mom said it gets better as you get older. You just have to get past it now, rather than later. I'm in grade eleven now. I have hopes and dreams. I think about school work and where I wanna go when I'm done highschool. Its amazing how a family you dont know can change your life and make it ten times better. I would love to say that all of you girls who are struggling will have the chances I have, but you may not. I still do stupid teenage things like smoking weed, or well my dirty habit of smoking cigarettes, but I also eat like I should be. There are still some days when I think I'm slipping back into my old patterns, but I keep my head up and think about how proud I was to overcome that horrible mental illness. I will never let that demon take me over again.

Comments for When I said I didnt want to be like the stars in magazines, I finally wasnt lying to myself.

Click here to add your own comments

WOW!
by: Anonymous

wow...amazing story! keap your head held high. I'll be prying for you <3

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Anorexia Share Your Story.

FREE Book and Bible Study for Teen Girls

Sign up Below and Get this Book FREE:


Get More Information



Let's Connect Online



Free Daily Devos
for Teen Girls

Sign up below to have these devos sent to your email daily.

Name
Email

Click here for weekly devos or to find out more!

Get the Books!

21 Devos 
Only $0.99

Volume 1

Volume 2 



Books for All Ages


Body Image Lies Women Believe - Read 26 different stories from 26 women and learn how to overcome body image lies with God's truth.

Get your copy here

Broken Crayons Still Color - Shelley Hitz shares how our biggest regrets, failures and mistakes become what God uses the most in our lives. 

Get your copy here

Please note that we are an affiliate for Amazon.com. Any books you purchase from us will help support this ministry. 


Get True Beauty Stuff!

True Beauty Tshirt


True Beauty Buttons, Bags, Mugs, T-shirts & More!
From $1 and up


Download Free Wallpaper for Your Computer