Uncertain

My story is probably different than most. I have no stress to trigger my problem. I grew up in a vibrant home that was never lacking of love, acceptance, and food in the fridge. I grew up with parents who loved each other and loved me and my siblings. In short, I had the childhood that I would want any child to have. My teenage years were relatively easy too. I never got into fights with my parents or my friends. My life has been nothing but stability so far. But I have a problem. I have such high expectations for myself in every area of my life. This includes my body. I am average height and average weight. I know I'm not fat. But I also know that I am not extremely skinny. I want to be. I played sports, and remember hating time in the locker room changing when I would see my teammates who were skinnier or more toned than me. I am out on my own now for the first time. I make my own decisions, and it has been a fairly smooth transition. Except for the food situation. I have always struggled with wanting to be smaller and hating my body, but now, for the first time, I get to decide what I eat and when. This has resulted in cycles of not eating anything to eating a lot more than I should and back to not eating. I am uncertain about whether I have an actual problem or if I am just another young woman who wants to be smaller.