Too many tears ive cried

by Sharnetta C.
(Michigan)


I was always a very bright, nice, sweet, fun loving person and was a friend to almost anyone who was nice or needed a friend. I would do anything for my friends. My family was always very unique they way would do things. We didn’t go to church often but we were a part of our family and we’ve always been very spiritual. In the 7th grade I started becoming very depressed because I was getting teased a lot by my family and friends for being slightly overweight. I started losing interest in the things I love and become very distant towards my family. I became so depressed that I started contemplating suicide and wanting not to be a part of this earth anymore. I started scratching myself and causing physical pain that could take the pain inside a way for a little bit. I told my parents but they didn’t believe me, it just made them mad and they said I was just saying this for attention. This made me more distant towards them and angry and made me very reluctant to trusting people who came into my life. I had a best friend but I would never tell her anything that was going on because I was afraid she would judge me or do the same thing as my parents did. As I got older it just got worst and I started to do drastic things to lose weight. I started over exercising and under eating and became really thin. I didn’t care what my parents thought; all I knew was that they could stop teasing me for being overweight. I didn’t go on for long, but I did it to reach my dream weight a goal of what I wanted my body to look like. After I reached my goal I started getting a lot of attention from boys and doing things with them hoping they would like me or make me their girlfriend but it never happened. I started getting more depressed and started hurting myself again but not as drastic as it was. One day after reading this biography about Marylin Monroe I finally decide that enough was enough and that I didn’t want to do this to myself anymore and that I deserve so much more for myself so I started reading the bible or at least little scriptures of it until I could understand what I needed. So far it’s worked amazingly! I know that the lord and Jesus have me on this planet for a reason and know that they love me no matter what ive done in the past and that I have a purpose for being here. And every time I feel down or depressed (which is really rare now) I just read the bible or talk to Jesus about how I’m feeling and ask him to heal me and give me the strength to know that everything will work out the way its suppose to and he has a high purpose for me, As long as I accept god in my life at all times.

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