Taking It All Away

by Victoria
(Arkansas)

My name is Victoria. When I was in seventh grade I started cutting. I'm not exactly sure what the reason was for the beginning of my cutting. I had always struggled with self image issues, that may have been part of it. Or maybe the fact that people started changing and going their separate ways and leaving me all alone. Either way I was hurting, and bad! I couldn't go for longer than two days without cutting I was seriously addicted to it. I always felt guilty for it because I've been brought up in a Christian household. So many times I'd promised God that it would be my last time and that I would never do it again. That was always a lie. Some people cut just for attention, not me. I always hid it from everyone. In fact nobody found out until I had been cutting for almost six months. I felt alone in the world. I didn't know what to do.

All these feeling that had been going on inside never made their way out to anyone, people wouldn't accept me if I was all emotional like that on the outside (that was my feelings on it anyways). So this went on for 2 1/2 years. Finally I told my youth pastor about it. He helped me out. But I didn't have enough devotion to God to do the things he was telling me to do. I figured I would get struck by lightning or something if I told God about these things.

Then something tragic happened. My friend Matt drowned. This made me feel so horrible. He was always wanting to help me because he was one of my only friends who knew about my cutting problem. I decided to honor him by not cutting. It's not like I never cut again after that but now I have completely quit cutting. And now I have a growing relationship with Christ.

I guess God had to get my attention somehow. He got everyone's attention! A lot of people got saved due to the fact that they realized that they weren't going to live forever and they should make plans for their soul. Matt's death was a horrible thing, but a lot of good things came out of it. It just amazes me how God can take something so horrible like that and make great and amazing things happen because of it.

So listen to God, because he's always telling you when you've gone too far and when you need to slow down and just listen to him! He WILL get your attention one way or another!

Comments for Taking It All Away

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Sounds just wrong...
by: Anonymous

Hey i was going down the list and your story caught my eye, im 16 years old going on 17 and I have cut myself like four times im not a major cutter but i do it wen im at an all time emotional high and just recently started to do it on an impulse. Now the problem that im having is that you said that God killed your friend so you would stop cutting. Dont get me wrong i believe in God but to say that he would kill someone for me is just wrong. Its almost like your saying God doesent value anyones life, that he just goes around killing people like chickens in a row, i respect that you stopped cutting yourself for him but i dont God would throw his life down a whole just so you would stop cutting yourself. I lost my best friend also, i wasnt cutting myself and i dont know why god let him die in 11th grade right wen he finally got his first girlfriend but i dont think god killed him for me or anyone else. Idk why he died but i kno their isnt a person on this earth that has earned anothers life.

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