Struggling with idolizing outer beauty

by Harriet
(England)

i know i have a problem with idolizing outer beauty, the hurtful thing is a feel ashamed of feeling this way and it is hard to always keep reminding yourself that its the inside that counts when day to day life constantly reminds me of how ugly i feel. I am a god fearing christian and i turn to God for a lot of things and i know that despite how low i feel i should never stop praising God. The question i have is this, next month i am starting a course in Textile design at the university of the arts London, it is the most pretentious universities and one that is probably centred on material things, the things that cause us to believe that the make up, clothes and even photoshop can make us feel happier and more beautiful. I want to be a real witness of a inner beauty, i am not sure whether my course will lead me to interior design or fashion design and all i know so far is God wants me to work with this to help those in third world countries...like fair trade or TOMS. I believe that recently he has been wanting me to learn all about inner beauty so that he can use me to be different and not to design things specially to make someone feel beautiful, or to just design things for size 0 models. But somehow promote inner beauty is fashion design perhaps. I would really value advice and pray as i work this out and as i struggle with the whole 'i feel ugly' issue myself first. I know i must come through the struggle myself before i can help others right?
Thanks

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Opposite issue
by: Anonymous

My problem is I care too much about how I look because I know I'm pretty. So I struggle with idolizing myself over God. I need to know the same thing you need to know- but in reverse. Because at least you don't manipulate others knowing you can get what you want because your little, and pretty. But not saying have low confidence is good either. This sounds like the prodigal sons (since there is two) One is rebellious, one does everything asked of him. Both are seeking their own glorification. Both ways are sinning. Its just best to know that their father loved them with open arms anyway. That alone should compel us to change, for love of him. I find the best way to stop thinking about what I should and shouldn't be doing is knowing there is nothing I can do apart from him. So prayer and thankfulness overwhelm me. Don't let guilt and sadness be your life. Everytime you think about yourself, know depression is just looking at yourself too much. Channel your thoughts on others every time. And you will be blessed. I know, thats what I try to do.

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