Physically it might go, but mentally it will stay with you forever.

by taylor
(malta)

hi my name is Taylor, I’m a 17 year old girl, dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, tall & a bit chubby( again ). About a year & a half ago ( I was 15 just turning 16) I got really depressed. I felt like no one loved me or wanted to be around me. I thought all of this because I was fat. Because when I would look at skinny people at school they would be soo happy, always smiling & laughing! I just didn’t want to exist anymore, I felt like I was a waste of space, & just wanted to slowly disappear. So I stopped eating, I would eat a tiny bit every now & then so my mom wouldn’t notice I wasn’t eating & at school when people would ask why I wasn’t eating I would just tell them that I eat in class before break, it seemed to work cause they left me alone. A month passed when you could really see that I was losing weight, but even though I was losing weight I was in so much pain! So much that I couldn’t lay down or stand up straight, & when I did it hurt like crazy! I was also always tired & cold. I would wear sweat shirts & people would look at me if I was crazy, because when this happened it was summer & here in Malta our summers can get so hot that the temperature can go up to 40c. This went on for another 3 months of not eating. Everybody was telling me you’ve lost so much weight what are you doing to lose the weight & I would just be like just drinking lots of water. Because I wasn’t eating, I fainted 3 times, once when I was waiting in line for my id card (that was embarrassing) & twice at school. It was the fifth month since I had stopped eating & I was in so much pain that at night in stead of sleeping I would just cry until morning. It was then that I thought ok I can’t do this any more, so I started to eat again it was hard but I did it & with in four months I had gained all the weight back. & even till this day I still struggle with food & my weight & still got it in my head that if I’m fat, no one will love me for it.

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Love
by: Anonymous

Reading your story makes me hurt inside. People like you and love you for what's on the inside, not on the outside. If they judge you by your external appearance (which is never as bad as you think) then they aren't worth being upset over. I use to be upset because I wasn't the prettiest girl in school, but now I'm thankful. Because, because of that, I see people for who they are, not what they wear. I have learned to look at what really matters, and while their happiness is only skin deep, mine is eternal. My happiness is meaningful and everlasting. It doesn't come from what people see on the outside, it comes from Christ living in me.

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