No one felt like I did
(Sydney, NSW, Austraila )
This is a story about a little girl who was teased continually at school.
I have blonde hair and blue eyes, average height and love sport.
I can say by the end of School I had been bullied by a different person every year of my life. Some were subtle, excluding and talking behind my back. Some were very violent, throwing rocks and pushing into walls. I had been bullied by boys and girls, younger and older.
The one that impacted the most was in kinder and year 1. She was so cruel this relationship hurt me a lot.
My past had held me back for so long and I thought there must have been something wrong with me. I tried to find my security in relationships with close friends an intimate relationship but eventually I broke it off because it didn't just fix the problem. I wanted to be loved deeply but I still felt alone, even in a crowded room with all my closest friends, and boy friend of one year. That feeling of broken emptiness was strangling my heart.
At this point after a week of crying and losing sleep, just fell on my knees and prayed to God to take this hurt and brokenness out of my life.
God challenged me that night he told me to break up with my boyfriend, I couldn't believe my ears. So the next day I broke up with him. Lost, hopeless and alone.
I felt my heart had been smashed into tiny pieces and it was impossible to put together again.
I cried for one week straight, my skin was all wrinklie from all the tears. I remember saying to God what do I do now? And the answer came after a few days when I was completely exhausted “Be patient”.
Unfortunately my story does not end there with marriage and kids. It's been 3 years since then and God is still telling me to be patient. Of course I wish to be married but God has other plans. He is teaching me so many new things, and giving me some fantastic opportunities.
One in particular is to share my story with my girls in a study group as a youth group leader. I want them to know that they are not alone and that. If they are willing God is willing. I can say that listening to God changed my life he filled that hole and that Joshua 1:9 is true… God is with you where ever you go......
I and those times when I do still feel insecure, God shows me something amazing and I know I am truly loved fully and completely.
P.S I am best friends with the girl I was bullied by in kinder, and have been for 8 years!
God is amazing............... what more can I say! Nothing is impossible for him.